


breathless

by memetsundere



Series: out of breath [2]
Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Eventual Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Jealous Park Jinyoung | Jr., M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Soft Im Jaebum | JB, also savage jinyoung, barista jaebum, i mean not implied but also not explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 18:32:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 24,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11674752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memetsundere/pseuds/memetsundere
Summary: Jaebum didn't mind being alone. Until he did.ORThe one where Jinyoung has a crush on a barista but the barista doesn't even know he exists until they meet on a one-night stand.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this has originally been part of "breathtaking", my yugbam fic, but i feel like it deserves a separate place, especially now with the jjp comeback (aaaaaa!!!!)  
> honestly, i can't tell whether you need to read "breathtaking" or not to get the story, i think yes for the most part, but don't call me out if not lol. nevertheless, i heavily recommend you reading "breathtaking", i'm pretty proud of that work.
> 
> (a tiny spoiler if you hadn't read "breathtaking" and you plan to) this story begins on the night of bambam's confession.

Waking up in a bed that was not his wasn’t something that Jaebum would be too familiar with. He wasn’t the type to talk to strangers at the bar or flirt with them even. Ever since high-school, he found dating awkward and hooking up was something he had been trying to avoid, deeming it unimportant and as “too much effort and time for something I can do myself”. So it was really kind of stupid when he woke up in the empty apartment with a lingering memory of a pretty boy and a blowjob that he could only describe as  _glorious_.

There was a sticky note attached to Jaebum’s phone on the night stand, reading “ _I had to leave for class, sorry. Nice meeting you, Jaebum. — Jinyoung_ ” in a neat handwriting. Jaebum didn’t have any idea that his encounter with Jinyoung last night wasn’t their first one. Although it did feel familiar, the way his name rolled from Jinyoung’s tongue as familiar as the coffee that his mouth tasted of.

No, he didn’t even want to think about it. It was a mistake (a good mistake, the voice in his head would argue), and he was already over it. He wouldn’t suddenly go chasing after an one-night stand that meant nothing. Nope, not ever. That wasn’t the way Jaebum did things.

So he dragged himself out of the bed with the image of Jinyoung’s face burned into his retina and searched for his clothes. Despite his expectations though, he didn’t find them scattered all over the apartment, but neatly folded on the floor, right next to where he stood.  _Hm, interesting_ , he thought as he reluctantly put on the day old clothes - those were what Jaebum called the “night out clothes”, skinny jeans and leather, so it was clear to him that his walk of shame wouldn’t go unnoticed.

It was when he walked into the bathroom when he found yet another sticky note, on the mirror this time: “ _Use anything you need._ ” That was… strangely considerate, given the fact this Jinyoung guy didn’t seem like the one-night stand meant something to him.

Jaebum decided to not dwell on it too much as he was walking out of the apartment, sending a text message to both Jackson and Bambam, asking if they didn’t know this certain Park Jinyoung. Just in case.

 

Jaebum found himself smiling upon finding out that Jinyoung’s apartment was only a minute walk from the café where he worked - the upper floor that used to belong to his uncle now served to him as an apartment so he didn’t have to live in the dormitory with noisy students and had the luxury of his own bathroom.

_That’s it, Jackson can have a boyfriend, Bambam can have a boyfriend, but_ I  _\- I have a bathtub._

Because it was still early in the morning, Jaebum decided not to slack and take a morning shift, hoping it would distract him enough. So he quickly showered and changed into his uniform - white shirt and black jeans with a much looser fit than his “night out” jeans - and took out his lip ring, along with an earcuff, just so he would fit more into the vibe of the café; he also decided against styling his hair too much.

Contrary to what he hoped for, he couldn’t take his mind off Jinyoung as he proceeded to take orders in the café. With every order, with every name he messily scribbled onto a to-go cup, with every “hello” he heard, his only thoughts were focused on if, by coincidence, the customer knows who Jinyoung is, or if the customer isn’t Jinyoung himself. He calculated that there, in fact, was a rather high probability that Jinyoung would come to the café eventually, considering he was also a student of university, which automatically equals to a caffeine addict. Or did Jinyoung not drink coffee and only drank energy drinks? Or maybe he was a really good student who managed to survive school without getting a caffeine addiction? Or what if the apartment Jaebum had woken up in wasn’t even Jinyoung’s but someone else’s?

Nevertheless, Jaebum’s shift started to get boring with every customer. Jaebum found himself being offended that his life wasn’t like in a movie - if it was, Jinyoung would have already stumbled upon the café, preferably in a white mustang three times as expensive as the café itself, like a prince on a white horse.

Yeah, whatever, Jaebum mentally scolded himself for being unrealistic.

Soon, Jaebum’s perception reduced to the simple dialogues between him and the customers, a dull static on the background of his zoned out thoughts.

“Hi, what can I get you?”

“One tall chai latte to go, no sugar.”

“Name on the cup?”

“Taeyong.”

Another customer.

“Hi, what can I get you?”

“One latte macchiato, one americano with cream and three yellow tulips.”

“I’ll bring it to your table.”

Another.

“Hi, what can I get you?”

“Well hello there Jaebum! How is it going?”

“Hi Jackson, what can I get you?”

“You don’t even say hi to a friend! … Two cappuccinos and two croissants.”

“I’ll bring it to your table.”

“You better do! At least you will see Mark!”

“ _Someone_ will bring it to your table, then.”

Another.

“Hi, what can I get you?”

“A medium americano to go.”

“Name on the cup?”

“Jinyoung.”

Anoth-

_Wait._

Jaebum stopped in his tracks maybe too late - when he had already shouted out the name written on the paper cup and placed it onto the countertop.

He spinned around from the cash register, where he was about to talk to a customer, to see a familiar figure grasping the warm cup and turning around to head out out of the building. Jaebum didn’t hesitate.

“Jinyoung!” he shouted after the man that was currently opening the glass door.

But all he did was nothing but glance over his shoulder and send Jaebum a warm smile before he got lost out onto the street, out of Jaebum’s reach.

What the hell did just happen?

Jaebum stood frozen on the spot, unable to process his thoughts. He was pretty sure that the customer was Jinyoung,  _that_ Jinyoung. Or wasn’t he?

“Can I please order?” an unpatient voice echoed from the cash register. Jaebum turned around and noticed that as he had been zoned out, three impatient customers had lined up.

“Of course, I’m so sorry,” Jaebum absently apologised and proceeded in taking orders.

As he took care of the order, a mundane routine he knew by heart, his mind was somewhere completely else.  _That was him. Jinyoung._ Jaebum’s shoulders sagged little bit. Why didn’t Jinyoung say anything? He must have recognized him. If he didn’t want to see Jaebum ever again, why wouldn’t he just turn around as soon as he saw him? Not even 12 hours after their “encounter”, Jinyoung was not only eager to talk Jaebum, he was also avoiding him at the same time.

Why would he have acted so absurdly like this?

There was a tiny speck of hope in Jaebum that  _maybe_ , Jinyoung was just really shy. But then on the other hand, that would mean that any initiation of a conversation in the café would have been Jaebum’s responsibility.

 

The fear of being rejected was quickly replaced by an overwhelming frustration. It happened right the next day, when Jaebum just started losing hope that Jinyoung would ever appear in his life ever again. It was already dark outside and Jaebum was about to take the last order of the day when something moved in the corner of his eye. He quickly turned his head around, almost breaking his neck in process, to see someone standing in front of the café.

It was him.

A slim figure dressed in a heavy coat, hands in pockets and a slight tremble as he was attempting to stay warm, even jumping a little bit on his tiptoes. But it was when the person turned a little bit and Jaebum could see his profile when he was absolutely sure it is Jinyoung. The nose, the chin, the cheeks, the small glint in his eyes - that was Jinyoung, Jaebum was sure of that.

Jaebum froze in the place.

He started getting anxious. Would Jinyoung come inside? If yes, what would he say to him? Would he even speak to him? If not, why? Why would he chose to torture Jaebum like this? If their encounter had meant nothing, why would Jinyoung keep on going to the café? And if it had meant something, why didn't he speak to him if he obviously knew where he was working?

Should he go talk to him?

"Hi, can I get the grande chai tea latte to go?" There was an unfamiliar person standing in front of Jaebum, and he realized that he had zoned out to the point where he forgot what his job was.

As he took the order, he couldn't help but to notice that Jinyoung began to move - there was someone else greeting him and pulling him into a hug. It was when he was ringing up the order when he saw it - Jinyoung hugged the guy in front of him tight, burying his face into the material of the man's coat. Jaebum almost spilled the hot milk over the thought that maybe, maybe Jinyoung was already in a relationship.

He paused, trying to both come up with what is the next step of the process of making the drink (a process he had never had a problem with) and also trying to think of a proof that Jinyoung was single.

He couldn't find any.

Had Jinyoung cheated on his boyfriend with Jaebum?

Jaebum felt a shiver run down his back as he almost spilled hot milk all over his hands. He suddenly felt a bile rising in his throat as it all sank in. He never wanted to be such person, never wanted to be a reason for another’s couple breakup, never wanted to break a heart. Now he was exactly it. He looked over to the window again, the last thing he registered - Jinyoung with his arm around the other guy, walking away.

 

It was 3 am when Jaebum woke up in shock, drenched in sweat and feeling like if he was about to vomit when he realized it. He didn’t mind ending a relationship that wasn’t his. The reason why he felt like his lungs were about to collapse was the opposite nature - he liked Jinyoung.

 

When he walked into the café at 7am, about to put the chairs down, water the plants and prepare the shop for a new day, it finally clicked in his brain. He was being ridiculous. More than ridiculous. He didn’t know Jinyoung. He did not know Jinyoung.

He did not know Jinyoung  _at all_.

Then why did he think that Jinyoung was the ideal boyfriend? Why did he suddenly change his opinion on long-term relationships? Why couldn’t he move on? Why did it feel like he had known Jinyoung for his entire life?

Why did he feel a pang of jealousy upon recalling the scene of Jinyoung hugging another person?

 

The last thing Jaebum expected was for Jinyoung to turn up in the café that day too.

Jaebum, being the zoned-out and distant person he sometimes tended to be almost didn’t notice him. He wasn’t scheduled to be taking orders in that moment, it was a rush hour and that was when Jaebum prefered to prepare the drinks, not deal with impatient customers. His most favourite was to be hidden away completely in the kitchen and prepare pastry and snacks, but since his encounter with Jinyoung, he didn’t want to spend a minute away from the counter, hoping that he could see the mystery man again.

Then again, he  _could have_ just knocked at the door of Jinyoung’s apartment, but no, Jaebum wasn’t as bold as that, and really, the pure act of going after Jinyoung intentionally and trying to force the contact seemed like the wrong move. He didn’t want to look like someone who would get attached after a one-night stand. He refused to seem eager.

So when he saw Jinyoung that day, it took all of his willpower to come up to him.

He was currently preparing a simple iced americano into a plastic tumbler ( _who the hell orders an iced drink in this weather?_ ), zoned out as always, his hands operating on autopilot. It was hard to read the messy black handwriting on the cup in which was written the name of the customer when the drink itself was a deep shade of brown, which always made Jaebum’s day a little bit harder; also, the worker was a girl who studied medicine and Jaebum could tell she would become a really good doctor given the fact that it was impossible to read virtually anything that she had written.

So yeah, after reading the name on the cup Jaebum paid little to no attention to what the name actually was, just being glad that he could read the name at all.

“One iced americano for… Jin… Jinyoung!” he called as he set the cup down onto the counter. He was about to spin around when he realized that  _it was him_.

And there he was, standing in front of him, the only thing separating them being the wooden counter. Dressed in a button down with a black overcoat, his hair separated on the side, forming two waves that only complimented the classic smart look. His face was… far too familiar.

“J- Jinyoung… ?” Jaebum immediately found himself at the loss of words. What was he trying to accomplish again?

Jinyoung looked up from his drink as he was in the process of tearing a paper wrapper from a straw, smiling without showing his teeth, his cheeks lifting up so much his eyes crinkled. What was so funny?

“I didn’t expect seeing you here, um,” Jaebum stuttered to which Jinyoung only smirked, his eyes reflecting a spark of mischief.

But then, Jinyoung inserted the straw into the lid of his drink that was still standing where Jaebum had put it and took a  _long_ sip while maintaining eye contact with Jaebum, which, quite frankly, sent a pang of familiar arousal straight into Jaebum’s crotch.  _How old are you Jaebum, for fucks sake_ , he scolded himself.

Jaebum didn’t realize he was holding breath as he waited for Jinyoung to say anything, which was starting to feel like eternity. Jinyoung lifted the drink from the counter absentmindedly and finally looked somewhere that wasn’t Jaebum’s eyes and Jaebum no longer felt like he was about to lose the stare-off, as Jinyoung’s eyes were like if there were two gun barrels aimed at him. Jinyoung was looking away into the ceiling, lips pressed together, thinking of what to say next - or maybe he had already known, but wanted to torture Jaebum a little bit more.

“Well,” Jinyoung finally said and Jaebum found himself not knowing what to do with his hands, so he just awkwardly put them into his pockets. And then there was the penetrating look on him again. “I very much expected to see you here.”

And with that, he turned around and walked away, out of the building, as Jaebum stood frozen in place behind the counter.

Was Jinyoung toying with him?

Jaebum couldn’t understand anything. There were so many unanswered questions. Was Jinyoung regretting the night or not? Was he interested in Jaebum? Was he taken? Was he in an open relationship and just liked the attention of his affairs? Was he wannabe famous and trying to attract attention to him by involving himself in an affair? Was he going to the café only to tease Jaebum but did in fact have no interest in him? But most importantly, what had Jinyoung done that Jaebum felt like he had known Jinyoung for so long?

 

The next day, Jinyoung didn’t show up at all

A man calling himself “Jinyoung” did show up, but it wasn’t  _him_.

When Jackson asked Jaebum to hang out, Jaebum agreed to meet up for a dinner over a bowl of take-out noodles that they ate in his apartment. Eventually, both Mark and Bambam showed up too, and after talking with Bambam, Jaebum realized that he wasn’t the only one wallowing in self-pity. Bambam talked about Yugyeom - a boy that Jaebum recalled seeing in the café - and how he felt like his life made no sense without him. They stood in the small kitchen, not facing each other and talking in low volume while eating ice cream straight out of the plastic container, while Jackson and Mark were in the opposite corner of the rather large apartment, bickering over which movie they were going to watch.

“There’s this, just,” Bambam described as he spooned a big chunk of ice cream into his mouth, his palms trying to express what he was feeling in vague motions as he held a spoon that was covered in droplets of melting ice cream, “just heavy feeling in my chest, y’know? Anytime I think about his stupid face. Like if my ribcage was made of metal. And I just don’t know what to do? It’s a terrible feeling, y’know? That he will never love me back. Fucking terrifying, too. Like you always kinda think it will all end well, that this is a movie about yourself and you will always get the good ending no matter what. And realizing that it’s not like that…”

Jaebum swallowed a big chunk of ice cream and enjoyed the freezing sensation that numbed his thinking for a while. He hummed in agreement with what Bambam had said and looked at Mark and Jackson, how happy they looked in their little bubble. He absentmindedly reached in front of him where a huge bottle of whiskey stood and casually poured three shots worth of the alcohol over the ice cream, dyeing it brown, reminding him of Jinyoung’s hair - although he did know that Jinyoung’s hair was much darker and the colour that the whiskey had created was more of a dirty blonde that Mark had, but for him, everything was Jinyoung and nothing was safe.

“What an idea,” Bambam muttered as he watched Jaebum bring the bottle to his lips and take a big gulp of the dark liquid. He then digged out another chunk of ice cream and let out a desperate sigh.

“I don’t get it. I never get attached to anyone. Ever since I started the business in the café, I never even looked for anyone. Like all I do is study, bake and take care of flowers. I was always okay with that.”

“That sounds so gay.”

“I know, thank you.”

“But maybe you did meet him before? Maybe he goes to the same class as you and you always see him but never notice him? So you think you haven’t ever met him but at the same time you know him for god knows how long?”

Jaebum paused to think. Is that likely?

“And he has been crushing on you for like forever but just didn’t really know how to approach you?”

“That’s bullshit,” Jaebum announced and swallowed another spoonful of the spiked ice cream.

“I know,” Bambam whined around the spoon, “I was just trying to make at least one of us more positive.”

Jaebum chuckled, impressed how much hope Bambam had in other couples, something he lacked.

“Have you even looked him up on the internet?”

“Nope.”

“First thing I have done. Doesn’t really bring you anything but at least you have the pictures.”

“Mhm.”

That night, Jaebum found Jinyoung’s profile on facebook and after tossing and turning in his bed unable to fall asleep, his brain still under the influence of alcohol, he jerked off to the thought of Jinyoung’s lips around him, an image that was forever burned onto his retina. He then fell asleep almost immediately, dreaming about meeting Jinyoung once again.

 

The day after, Jaebum started thinking that maybe he scared Jinyoung off. Somehow. It didn’t make sense to him either, but if it was to be an excuse to why Jinyoung didn’t show up, it would suffice. Blaming it all on himself was a good idea, right?

During his lunch break, Jackson called him and although Jaebum was strictly against the employees staying inside of the café during their lunch breaks (so the customers wouldn’t think they’re slacking), Jaebum was the boss and if he wanted to stay in the café 24/7 in hopes that Jinyoung would appear, he would.

“Hi, Jaebum!” a merry voice echoed from the speaker and Jaebum winced, leaning back in his chair that was in the very corner of the café right next to the toilets, the most inconvenient seat to sit in but also the one with the best view of the entire café.

“Jackson, hey.”

“So, we haven’t found your prince Jinyoung yet,  _but_ ,” Jackson made an emphasis and Jaebum already knew that he had a bad idea, “Mark says he can set you up with his friend. His name is Youngjae and that is pretty similar to ‘Jinyoung’, right?”

“No Jackson, it isn’t,” Jaebum chuckled at the ridiculousness of Jackson’s proposal.

“Damn, that’s what Mark said too... But he apparently has this huge sunshine aura around him and that could help you!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jaebum dismissed. He really didn’t need another person to remind him of how desperate he had become.

“Well he apparently was in your café yesterday and described you as, and now I’m quoting Mark quoting Youngjae, ‘ _manly but kinda cute at the same time I guess_ ’. That counts as something, right?”

“Why aren’t you allowing me to back up from this?”

“I kinda… set you up for a date with him.”

Jaebum sighed.

“Tomorrow, 8pm, you will pick him up at the café and I already booked cinema tickets for you. I hope you like sealife documentaries.”

“What the hell, Jackson,” Jaebum whined, fighting the urge to bang his head into the table in front of him.

As they eventually ended the phone call, somewhere on the other side of the city district, Jackson and Mark laughed in mischief, before Mark dialed another phone number and ensured yet another part of their plan.

 

Jaebum barely noticed that snow had started to fall onto the streets and that the windowsills were soon covered by a thick layer of it. The flow of customers eventually ceased and as the clock neared to the last hour of his shift, there were no customers at all. Jaebum took the advantage of it and started to clean up. First he wiped all of the tables and the glass panels on the refrigerators. He emptied and washed all of the machines and containers used for preparing drinks, even taking the time to clean individual parts of the machines and the metal surfaces that had needed little bit of polishing. Then he focused on the plants - he went around all of them, watering them and adding a little bit of artificial nutrients that helped the plants to look healthier especially in winter. He changed the water in the vases of the clipped flowers and with regret threw out the flowers that were no longer good looking enough for sale. Using garden scissors he cut off some of the dried ends of the vines and then sprayed some water onto the air plants that were hung up in air.

It was already nearing the closing time when Jaebum dimmed the lights, deciding that no one sane would want to take a trip through the thick layer of snow just to get a coffee, and so he would have the time and privacy to do the job that was usually done by the part time workers. Jaebum would have taken care of the plants all by himself, but it wasn’t possible to fit all of the watering and repotting into his schedule, so he usually just paid other people to do it.

He decided that the best thing to do would be to take care of the few bonsais that he had in the café. Those little trees were really pretty to look at, but they had to be taken care of quite frequently and Jaebum didn’t often like to let other people touch the precious trees. He started with a gorgeous, deep green tea bonsai that looked like a tree bent in a gust of wind, with leaves covering the branches in a thick layer that looked like a little cloud. He first repotted it, mixing some nutrients into the soil so the plant could remain healthy, putting it into a new pot that complimented the shape and colour way more than the old pot. It was a messy process and Jaebum had to ensure that none of the dirt would get onto the countertop, so he made an extra effort putting a plastic wrap all over the work surface. As a finishing touch, he carefully trimmed the fragile branches and leaves that were overgrowing, shaping the crown into elegant curves as if it were a statue.

Jaebum was happy like this. He found peace in gardening, or “mini-gardening” as he thought of it sometimes - it wasn’t only the dirty manual work that it seemed like. It was therapeutic, to turn off the outer world and to let himself be surrounded by the apparent silence, intruded only by the dulled sounds of the dying down traffic and howling of the wind. For a while he actually had the peace to sort out his thoughts without feeling like he’s being rushed by the world. And as he was doing that, a piece of art was beginning to appear under his hands, a living and growing organism that was also a beautiful sculpture.

He was just about to set down his scissors and admire his work when a loud bang came from the doors. Jaebum, being deeply focused on the bonsai, flinched and suddenly a plastic container full of used substrate was falling down and spilling its content all over the wooden floor.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Jaebum cursed, loud but the tone of his voice indicating that he wasn’t aiming at anybody but himself. He groaned, looking at the havoc around his legs - his shoes were completely covered by dirt as well as some of the shelves that were only few centimeters above the floor.

Shaking his feet to get the dirt off and somehow managing to step over the mess, Jaebum finally glanced towards the door to see what the noise was. Then it clicked - the doors had been opened in a blizzard and the person entering hadn’t had enough strength to let them close slowly, so the strong gust of wind shut it with a blow that nearly knocked out the glass pane. And the person was…

Park Jinyoung.

Jaebum was just about to say that the shop is already closed, wiping his hands on the apron and trying to look as composed as possible, but as he cleared his throat and slowly came to the realization who the man was, he was already being spoken over.

“Hi, are you still open?” Jinyoung said with a sheepish grin, shaking out the snow out of his hair and brushing it away from his coat.

Jaebum stood silent, mouth ajar in surprise and inner conflict - he really wanted to speak to Jinyoung, but he was also pissed off that someone interrupted him and now he had to clean up dirt from the whole area behind the counter and hope that the hygiene check wouldn’t find out. And he was scared that Jinyoung would now confirm that he does in fact have a boyfriend.

“I know you should be closing in like five minutes,” Jinyoung continued when it didn’t seem like Jaebum was going to answer, “and I really wanted to keep  _this_ up for longer, but…” He did a strange gesture with his hand and Jaebum was left wondering what he had meant. “My landlord is away for the evening and she forgot to turn on the heating, so now even my bottled water is turning to ice and… yeah. Do you think I could stay here for a while?”

“Uh.”  _Congratulations, Jaebum. Brevity is the soul of wit._

“Jaebum, right?”

“Yeah, sorry, of course you can stay,” Jaebum said almost absentmindedly and cringed at how eager he sounded. “Jinyoung,” he added quietly, just for the sake of not looking like he forgot the other’s name.

“Oh, thank you so much,” Jinyoung said, standing still but not uncomfortable or awkward, like if he wasn’t the reason to why Jaebum now had to spend the extra time on brooming and not pampering his bonsais. Wait, why was he being welcoming again?

“Sit down,” Jaebum grumbled, the sudden change of mood being apparent but not meeting with any protests on Jinyoung’s side. “I have work to do,” he muttered and didn’t forget to add a short groan. “Thanks to you” remained unsaid but Jaebum very much thinked it and if it weren’t for Jinyoung’s poker face, it would be apparent that he knew that he wanted to say it.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind standing up,” Jinyoung beamed, following Jaebum who was walking towards the counter. As Jaebum disappeared in the staff room located behind the counter to retrieve a broom, Jinyoung leaned over the dirty counter in almost flirty way, with his chin on his palm and a spark in his eyes.

Jaebum quickly returned with a broom, trying to ignore that Jinyoung was standing  _right there_ ,  _watching his every move_. He spared him a glance and although he didn’t mean it, he shot him a rather unimpressed gaze with a hint of annoyance.

“Do you have to do this everyday? I mean, having dirt everywhere and then having to clean up because people eat here.”

“I usually have the staff to do it,” Jaebum said, now visibly annoyed. Who was Jinyoung to say that, in an audacious and sassy voice with no hint of self-reflection? Jaebum was literally saving him from freezing to death and the only thing Jinyoung had done so far was to annoy him. “And people don’t usually smash the doors so much that I spill a box full of dirt.”

Jinyoung snickered, to which Jaebum only raised an eyebrow, but kept his eyes focused on the brooming. “Did you really do that?”

Jaebum looked up at him with a deadly gaze. Jinyoung chuckled again, stood up, took off his coat to throw it over a nearby table and before Jaebum realized what he was doing, he walked behind the counter and wrapped his hand around the broom handle.

“Here, let me do it,” he said, still smiling, his eyes glistening with a hint of mischief that was supposed to look like great kindness. Or maybe it was kindness that was supposed to look like mischief. Jaebum wouldn’t know, he was too much engrossed in the fact that Jinyoung’s fingers brushed against his palm. He was a mess of mixed emotions and he didn’t like it.

Jaebum watched Jinyoung as he wordlessly started brooming the dirt. He stood steps behind him so he didn’t see his expression, but he did zone out as he kept staring at how Jinyoung’s shoulders moved under the rather thin material of the thinly striped black button down, and he also spared few glances at the navy blue dress pants and low top shoes that made him look both like a businessman and a hipster - Jaebum didn’t expect to like seeing that kind of a style on someone but Jinyoung somehow pulled it off. He wondered what exactly Jinyoung expected him to do - should he just make an attempt at small talk and hope that Jinyoung would leave before it would get embarrassing? Or should he try to address whatever was going on between them, try to get to know each other, exchange numbers?

He distanced himself from Jinyoung, deciding to just work on something else. He picked up the finished bonsai from the counter and took it back to its place on a windowsill. He crouched down to check up on one vine branch that was healing from an incident (a small kid started kicking it when his mum wasn’t watching and destroyed part of the base of the stem - ever since that had happened, Jaebum frowned upon any kid that entered the café) but he mostly did it just to look occupied as his thoughts ran wild. But before he knew it himself, he already spoke up.

“What did you mean when you said that you ‘really wanted to keep this up’?” Jaebum cringed at his own question. Wasn’t he trying to not look stupid just seconds ago?

The sounds of the broom scraping the floor stopped for a while, but then Jinyoung chuckled quietly and continued in cleaning up the dirt. “Acting like we’re still strangers.”

“W- what?”

“Well we were quite frankly both drunk,” Jinyoung said and Jaebum felt like he was being spoken down to, although he had remembered that he was the older one. “But I was still kinda surprised that I didn’t find your number anywhere on the notes I left for you.”

Jaebum barely noticed that Jinyoung turned the tables, he was too involved in trying to find indication or a hint on Jinyoung’s relationship status, and something that would suggest him what Jinyoung thought of him. He didn’t want to admit to himself what he really wanted to hear. He reluctantly got up and looked in Jinyoung’s direction from across the room, nervously pulling down the sleeves of his shirt and then playing with the cuffs as he didn’t know what to do with his hands, barely being able to actually look directly at Jinyoung who was occasionally glancing at him. “I didn’t know you would be interested-”

“Who says I’m interested?”

Jaebum wordlessly stared at Jinyoung with his mouth ajar in surprise. He blinked few times in attempt to compose himself.

“Um well you just- just asked to exchange numbers and-”

“Oh you want my number? You should’ve asked in the first place.”

Park Jinyoung didn’t make any sense.

Talking to Jinyoung felt pretty much like playing chess. With the devil who makes his own rules as the game goes on and customizes the board in a way that he would always win. And precautiously throws out every single of Jaebum’s figures so he would be left with nothing else but a pawn.

“You’ve been working here for quite a while, right?” Jinyoung asked when the silence became long enough for Jaebum to feel like he’s being scolded like a little kid.

“Yeah,” Jaebum managed, finally composing himself with the help of the innocent question. For the first time, Jinyoung said something that didn’t make Jaebum feel awkward, nevertheless he couldn’t find himself at peace as the question still made him feel like he’s being spoken down to. He practically owned the place, and why did Jinyoung ask questions like if he were a boss interviewing new employees? “I actually am kinda in charge of the whole thing.”

Jinyoung stopped brooming, looking up at Jaebum with an almost surprised expression, his mouth opened in awe even though he was still smiling and had the same spark in his eyes that made his expression hardly honest. “Oh, that’s pretty cool,” he said eventually with a hint of amusement. Although it still sounded somehow… dishonest, Jaebum found himself relaxing a little bit into Jinyoung’s presence, so he stopped nervously playing with his cuffs and walked over to the opposite corner of the café, checking up on another plant and deciding which bonsai needs to be taken care of and how. Jinyoung’s eyes followed him with a playful glint. “How do you manage to do all of this and still catch up on school and all that?”

“My aunt helps me out a lot,” Jaebum said, now without hesitation, “and there’s a lot of part-timers who are willing to do anything for a small raise. And since I’m my own boss it doesn’t matter when I clock in and out.”

“Oh, you’re so hard working, Jaebum,” Jinyoung said as Jaebum started approaching the counter, deciding to wrap up.

“Ah if you think so,” Jaebum said, refusing to meet Jinyoung’s eyes. He started collecting the cut off branches and getting rid of the foil that protected the workplace, standing on the other side of the counter, opposite from Jinyoung who stood motionless, still leaning against the handle of the broom with the same, flirty expression as he watched every one of his moves.

“Okay I’m done,” he said, finally letting go of his stance and glancing at the floor where was a proudly piled up molehill of dirt. “It will still need some vacuum cleaning but it’s not as catastrophic as you left it.”

“That’s cool, thanks,” Jaebum said, seeing that there was barely a speck of dirt left. He barely noticed Jinyoung’s remark. “I will, um, I will just…” He was again at the loss for words as he struggled to get to the staff room without getting too close to Jinyoung, but he eventually did and returned with a dustpan on a long handle. He was about to somehow ask Jinyoung to move so he could collect the dirt and throw it into the biodegradable waste, but Jinyoung again took over.

“Let me just do it,” he said proudly and loud, literally snatching the handle from Jaebum’s grip as he stared deep into his eyes, and got to work. Damn, Jaebum really had to do something with his weakness for an eye contact like this. He eventually resumed in cleaning the counter and when he was about to throw out all the snippets from branches, he was again met with Jinyoung’s piercing gaze as they met over the trashcan.  _Fucking iconic._

“Wait here, I will just move this to the back door,” Jaebum said as he grasped the handle of the rather big trashcan full of plant snippets and the waste soil that Jinyoung had thrown there. It was unacceptable to leave the rotting waste inside of the building, so Jaebum only took it inside for when he was working and then he put it back out again. Jinyoung leaned against the counter again, chin resting on his palm and a playful look directed on Jaebum, which Jaebum felt even when he wasn’t facing him.

“Okay,” he said in a little bit high pitched voice, “if you need me here so much. I will wait.”

Jaebum tried to ignore the yet another verbal jab.

When Jaebum returned a minute later (he took a moment longer just to push his head against the cold outer wall of the building in attempt to compose himself, and another moment to check if he looks presentable enough in the turned off screen of his phone), Jinyoung was on the phone with someone. He didn’t catch much of what the conversation was about - Jinyoung stood in the very front of the café, looking out of the big window, and he spoke in much quieter volume and in brief lines that lead straight to the point - but he did catch few words: “heating”, “pissed off” and “fucking hell”. He quietly stood behind the counter, not even in denial that he was eavesdropping, watching Jinyoung and thinking about what his intentions were. He could see that his fist was clenched and that he looked very tense - he really wanted to know what the phone call was about.

But within few moments, Jinyoung ended the call and turned around to look at Jaebum, smiling all confident as if nothing had happened. “Sorry, talked to my landlord. She said she is stuck in a parking lot, isn’t that great,” he said sarcastically with a laugh, but there was something about his posture that gave away that he was more than surprised. Upset and angry, maybe?

“Ah, sorry about that,” Jaebum said, giving Jinyoung a compassionate look. He took a breath to assure him that he could stay in the café, but then he stopped and closed his mouth again - what then? What if Jinyoung couldn’t make it home that day at all? Will he just kick him out?

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” Jinyoung said and approached the counter again, resuming his pose from earlier but now there was a much bigger distance between them. Wait, why was  _he_ assuring Jaebum?  He stood there silently, watching Jaebum who was looking somewhere else. After a while, Jaebum finally looked at him as if he was being asked something, and Jinyoung squinted and tilted his head to the side like if Jaebum was a math problem that Jinyoung was trying to solve. Jaebum felt like if it was the other way around - Jinyoung being the complicated equation with a lot of variables and one gaping equals sign that pointed to a blank sheet of paper. He kept staring back at Jinyoung with a (hopefully) unreadable expression.

“Hm, you’re cute. If this wasn’t your café I’d invite you for a coffee and call this a date.”

Jaebum inhaled rapidly to reply but being caught off guard he only stuttered on an empty vowel and nearly choked on his own spit as he spluttered, looked away from Jinyoung and shook his head. He tsked and chuckled to seem more composed, but then glanced briefly back at Jinyoung who was grinning so much that it was obvious that he knew what for an explosion of emotions he had caused. “Don’t be like that.”

“Why not? It would be a shame to not take you out on a date.”

“Ah, stop it,” Jaebum dismissed Jinyoung shaking his head, digging his gaze into the surface of the countertop.

“Okay, okay,” Jinyoung snickered and changed his tone to a more casual, laid-back one. “So what are you up to these days?”

An innocent question that still somehow sounded really flirty. Jaebum decided to fight back.

“My friend set me up for a date and he’s apparently  _really_ hot, so pretty good.”

Jinyoung’s expression faltered.

Jaebum finally looked back at Jinyoung with a smile, waiting what his next move would be. The little taste of sudden power over the other man made him want to have all the power over him, to be able to catch him off guard and make him go to his knees. Literally.

“Okay,” Jinyoung said, his expression suddenly emotionless, getting back to a standing position. He refused to meet Jaebum’s gaze and when he finally did, Jaebum saw a whole new emotion in his eyes. The atmosphere immediately shifted and he tensed, now worried that he had stepped over the line too much. Jinyoung grabbed his coat and hastily put it on, aiming for the door with confidence, and Jaebum panicked, following after him.

“Wait, where are you going?” He tried to stop him, halfway between his previous spot next to a coffee maker and Jinyoung who stood with his hand on the door handle. Jinyoung looked at him with the slightest hint of a smile tugging on his lips.

“ _We’re_ going on a date. Grab your coat and lock up.”

“W-what?” Jaebum stuttered. And there he was, thinking that he ever had control over Jinyoung.

“We are going on a date, did you not hear?”

“...What? W-what?”

“Well if you go on that date with some strange guy soon, I want you to be going there knowing that the bar is set up high.”

“W-where are we going?”

“Out,” Jinyoung smirked. Jaebum muttered something under his breath before finally walking back to the staff room where he retrieved his coat and took off his apron. He set up an electronic lock and turned off the lights to be only the intensity for the cctv to be able to pick up movement, and then he finally met Jinyoung in the space in front of the doors.

“Fine,” he sighed, meeting Jinyoung’s gaze and smiling the slightest bit back at him.

 

The moment they stepped out of the coffee shop into the cold air, Jaebum could feel that the atmosphere between them immediately shifted. It was like if the snow that crunched under his feet brought him back to the reality and the freezing breeze calmed down his nerves and washed away the pressure in his bloodstream that he didn’t even realize he had felt. Jaebum closed the door behind them and turned to face Jinyoung, who was standing in the middle of the empty pavement, looking left and right to check that there was really not a single person in sight, and then glancing back at Jaebum who was still standing at the front step, digging his hands deeper into the coat pockets.

“So where do you wanna go?” he asked, stepping down onto the street and marveling at how astonishingly beautiful the streets looked. The otherwise busy street was submerged in the golden glow coming from the lamps that illuminated tiny snowflakes fluttering in the breeze before eventually landing in the thick layer of snow that piled up on the streets, glistening like tinsel. It really was a sight and it was even more magical when there were no people that would disrupt the serenity of the scene. Except for the two of them - and that was the most shocking for Jaebum, as he had always imagined that walking through a picturesque scenery like this was reserved for couples, for holding hands and kisses under lone lamp posts, but now he was there, with Jinyoung, and despite all of his resolutions to not commit into a relationship or to never go too fast he actually felt content for a while. Like if there was no coffee shop with plants to take care of and dirty floor to clean, classes to attend and projects to work on, like if there was only the very moment of standing opposite to Jinyoung as the snow fell down onto his hair and made it look like what Jaebum had always imagined fallen stars to look like. Jaebum had never even thought that there could possibly be something as comforting as the company of his own.

“I thought we could just wander around?” Jinyoung smiled, motioning into the empty street with his hands inside the coat pockets. “There’s no one on the streets right now, we can do whatever.”

It was so weird, talking so freely with Jinyoung. They haven’t known each other for very long, only snippets they recalled from the night they flirted with each other, but back then they were too indulged in each other’s eyes and hands and lips to remember any of the more personal stuff. But here they were, making their way towards nowhere, talking like old friends about unimportant stuff - about dramas, music, their professors, how they liked the design of the new bank building that they passed by.

Jaebum only later realized that Jinyoung never actually talked about himself, always reversing the attention back or switching onto some neutral topic. Jinyoung also didn’t seem as energetic now when they were out in the cold air - only then Jaebum realized how much had Jinyoung been flirting with him back in the café; now, the most intimate contact between them was when their gazes met as they stood on a bridge overlooking the river, leaned against the railing and watching how the city lights danced in the waves of the ice cold water. And for a second, Jaebum could swear that he saw the whole city reflected in Jinyoung’s eyes as they smiled softly at each other, a moment that lasted too long to not get awkward by the end of it but too short for both of them to look properly.

It was nearing 10pm when they finally found themselves in front of the building where Jinyoung’s apartment was. It was built in similar way as Jaebum’s apartment was - the ground floor was used as a shop while the floors above were habitable. Jaebum wasn’t  _glad_ that Jinyoung was finally going home, no, but he was happy that Jinyoung for the first time didn’t seem to worry about when is his apartment going to be warm. They both slowed down subconsciously as they were nearing the building and Jaebum realized he’d been nervously playing with the material of the inside of his pocket. What is going to happen now? Would they exchange numbers or would Jaebum be left again with the wishful thinking that Jinyoung would turn up at the coffee shop the next day?

“So, this is the end,” Jinyoung chuckled, aware of how cheesy he sounds. “I really hope my landlord already returned.”

“What if she didn’t?” Jaebum jokingly proposed, hoping for something,  _anything_. Jinyoung smiled with a hint of ridicule.

“I really hope she did.” Jaebum tried his best to smile, trying to cover up how nervous he was.  _Now or never, Jaebum_.

“Do you want to exchange numbers?”

“...Yes.” Jinyoung nodded with a nod, his tiredness apparent. “Thought you’d never ask.”

“Yeah,” Jaebum digged out his phone from his pocket handing it to Jinyoung so he could send a text to himself.

“Here you go,” Jinyoung passed him the phone and Jaebum checked that he sent only a brief text, a simple word: goodnight.

“Goodnight,” Jaebum smiled at him and Jinyoung repeated quieter after him as he nodded.

They stared at each other for what could either be a glimpse or five minutes, both of them going over whether should they hug or just wave or not do anything, but eventually it was Jinyoung who broke the moment and finally entered the building.

 

Jaebum barely turned away from the building to cross the street to his own apartment when he heard faint stomping and suddenly the door was opening again and Jaebum nearly broke his neck in attempt to look what was happening. And there he was again.

“Jaebum! Oh you’re here… sorry, do you maybe have a couch? I’m freezing my balls off there.”

Would Park Jinyoung ever cease to surprise him?

It really wasn’t what Jaebum had planned the evening to be. Sure, he desperately hoped for an outcome like this, but expecting it to happen? But suddenly Jinyoung was towing behind him on the narrow staircase, silent with his head hung to his chest in some strange kind of shame, something that Jaebum wouldn’t expect Jinyoung to ever experience - Jinyoung basically radiated with the vibe of someone that would force themselves onto someone’s couch, he looked like the type of a person that would always only go according to the script.

“I have a couch that can fit a person, but it won’t be the most comfortable couch, that’s for sure. I can find you a blanket hopefully.” Jaebum rattled off but he was sure Jinyoung wasn’t paying too much attention. They were both really tired and only thing they wanted to do was to sleep. Jaebum still did have increased perception, wanting to detect any minor hint from Jinyoung, but he knew he shouldn’t expect anything.

(And Jinyoung was exactly that. Ever since he had first found out that his apartment is too cold to stay in, his entire evening was turned upside down and he was left only with fake confidence and hope that Jaebum would welcome him.)

As Jaebum unlocked the door to his apartment and stepped into the narrow space for taking off shoes, he immediately realized how nervous he was. He stepped all the way to the wall next to the door to let Jinyoung in, his back flush with the mirror that hung there. And Jinyoung was standing close. Hell, he was standing so close to him that he could feel himself going cross-eyed from how hard it was to look Jinyoung into the eyes. And he wasn’t doing anything more than that, only standing in front of Jaebum with unreadable expression on his face. Jaebum could practically feel Jinyoung’s breath ghost against his lips as he sighed in content.

But suddenly, Jinyoung’s hand was grasping at Jaebum’s forearm, with no excessive force but firm and steady. Jaebum’s life flashed right in front of his eyes as Jinyoung suddenly bent slightly forward and to the side, getting into a strange position where his head was in the level of Jaebum’s waistline and Jaebum’s breath hitched in his throat as he was trying to make up what exactly was Jinyoung doing in the pitch black darkness that his apartment was immersed into. There was a soft thud of something falling to the floor and before Jaebum could even begin to re-imagine Jinyoung going to his knees, he realized what Jinyoung was doing.

“Thanks for letting me stay here, I’m glad,” Jinyoung said after he took off his other shoe as well. Both of his shoes were now laying on the floor far away from each other as Jinyoung had haphazardly taken them off, using Jaebum as his crutch. But neither of them found themselves caring about it. “I really am. Thanks for spending the evening with me.”

“Uh, yeah,” Jaebum stuttered, still not fully recovered from the image of Jinyoung lowering himself in front of him like that. “It’s really no problem, I never have much company anyways.”  _Company of potential partners that is._ But Jinyoung didn’t yet have to find out how loud his friends were. Or how loud Jaebum could actually get if he was with them.

After that, they didn’t even turn on the lights and barely spoke, creating some sort of comfortable almost domestic mood. Jaebum brought Jinyoung three thin blankets to the couch, and they did say goodnight to each other again, but when he walked into the living room with a pillow he found much more comfortable than the two throw pillows on the couch, Jinyoung was already sound asleep, curled up to fit the couch better with his hair falling over his eyes and his lips cutely ajar. So he placed the pillow in front of the couch, in case Jinyoung would wake up in the middle of the night with aching spine, and went back to his room to try to fall asleep without thinking about Jinyoung’s eyes and how the only thing separating them was one thin wall.

 

The dormitory was almost entirely dark, apart from one phone screen that illuminated faces of Jackson and Mark. There was a noise coming from the second bed too, something that Mark basically considered just a static at that point - Yugyeom and Bambam had gotten together only few hours ago but they had known each other for several weeks of nonstop communication, so it was only obvious that nothing would change about the way they spoke to each other. From what Mark could hear, they had already switched from saying the word “boyfriend” to each other for what seemed like hours, and were now speculating how much could a space ship cost and whether or not would they able to hijack it.

“Yi-En, I got a reply, look,” Jackson whispered, interrupting Mark from absently watching him from where he laid on the pillow. Jackson was laying on his stomach, propped up on his elbows with phone in hand. Mark rolled over to glue himself onto Jackson’s side with his hand going over his torso and head resting on his shoulder as he looked down onto the lit up screen. “Seems like Jinyoung’s landlord is really enjoying the spa.”

“Aw, that’s so cute!” Mark whispered, looking at the picture that was attached to the text. There was an older lady in her sixties taking a selfie inside of a salt cave with a young boy in a spa uniform, roughly the same age as Bambam, standing behind her with a towel and smiling cutely at the camera. The caption of the picture read “The salt cave is boring but Eunwoo is keeping me company. I hope Jinyoung is having a nice date!”.

“I know right? It’s so cute to see older people enjoy life,” Jackson said, typing a reply.

“I really hope it goes well for Jinyoung and Jaebum,” Mark said after a moment of silence, looking at Jackson’s dimly lit profile.

“Well I hope so!” Jackson laughed almost too loudly for the quiet of the room. Mark chuckled and hummed in content. “The spa coupon was pretty damn expensive.”

“You know what I mean,” Mark muttered against the skin of Jackson’s shoulder that peeked out from the tank top strap.

“Yeah I do,” Jackson swallowed as he turned off the screen of his phone and left it abandoned on the pillow as he rolled over to his side so Mark was partially laying on top of him. He pressed a kiss to his lips as he embraced his slim body with his strong arms and let Mark kiss him back with the same passion and fondness. Jackson sighed into the kiss and tangled their legs together in attempt to bring their bodies even closer, being able to feel the heat radiating from Mark’s torso and the rhythm of his heartbeat on his chest. The silence was filled with the sounds of their languid kissing and occasional shifts of the blanket covering them and although the kiss wasn’t going anywhere deeper, the both of them were so indulged in the kiss they didn’t notice that somebody cleared their throat only few steps away from them.

“Jacksooon~” Bambam whined and the two of them pulled away, still keeping only a tiny gap between them. “We decided on an agreement for today, so please… Don’t.” Ah yes, the agreement to not do anything when the other couple is in the same room. Why couldn’t Jackson respect it?

“Whoops, sorry, we’ll just… go to sleep then,” Jackson spoke through the darkness with his hands still all around Mark. He then lowered his back onto the bed and Mark laid down partially on his torso, hugging him like a koala with his head resting in the crook of his neck.

“Tsk, thank you,” Bambam grumbled and returned to his conversation with Yugyeom who was now already half asleep, holding Bambam’s thin waist like a teddy bear. If he stayed awake for few moments longer, he would feel how Bambam traced lines along his cheeks and collar bones with his fingertips before kissing his lips softly as a goodnight.

 

Jaebum was the first to wake up - or at least that’s what he thought when he did, judging from how silent the apartment was. It took him few seconds to realize that something was different, that he wasn’t alone in the apartment. The sun had already risen but it was blocked by gray clouds that prevented most of the sunlight to stream through Jaebum’s windows. When he twisted his head to look out, it almost looked like if it was still evening. Jaebum hated when the weather was like that. He never got anything done and even the customers in the coffee shop were rude to him much more.

He walked out of his bedroom in his sleeping shorts and an old tee, yawning and running his hand through his hair, thinking Jinyoung was still asleep so he wouldn’t have to worry about how he looked. He immediately stopped in his tracks when he saw that Jinyoung was indeed awake - there was a bare hand peeking from underneath the blanket holding a phone, thumb scrolling down a page. There was also a black mop of hair fanned out on the pillow and Jaebum only registered Jinyoung’s face when he lifted his head a little bit to throw him a tired glance.

“Ah-” Jaebum gasped, instantly closing his mouth with a click of his teeth. “Good morning.”

“Mhm, morning,” Jinyoung responded, slowly sitting up with a blanket still clinging to his shoulders. He looked fairly disoriented, his hair a mess and the look in his eyes still half asleep. Jaebum proceeded in walking into the kitchen.

_Should I prepare breakfast?_

He glanced at the clock, checking that it was barely 9 am which meant he wouldn’t have to show up in the café for another hour or so. There were plenty of part timers working that time anyways so he didn’t really need to be there at all.  _Hm._

“Jinyoung,” he called from the kitchen and when a soft “yeah” echoed from the direction of the couch, he continued. “Do you want breakfast?”

“Just coffee is fine,” Jinyoung replied, voice strained with sleep. Jaebum found himself relaxing to it.

He silently prepared the coffee (using the quality blend from the coffee shop, of course an owner of a coffee shop wouldn’t drink only instant at home) and brought it over to the living room. Jinyoung was still in the same position, sitting cross-legged in between the blankets, scrolling through his social media. Jaebum sat on one end of the sofa and set down the cups with a loud clink as the porcelain made contact with the glass surface of the small table. Jinyoung was wearing nothing but a white undershirt and boxers, revealing his pale limbs and subtle outlines of his muscles to Jaebum’s sight, and although it made his figure look athletic, the way his hair was ruffled and the blanket draped over his shoulders gave out more of a boyish look. It reminded Jaebum of the pretty boys he had went to high school with and how effortlessly attractive they always were, with messy hair and loose uniform tie - and how much out of his league they had been. (And how much trouble they had always caused)

“Thanks, Jaebum,” Jinyoung managed a smile, setting his phone down into his lap and taking the steaming mug into his hands instead. Jaebum felt a warm tingle in his stomach when Jinyoung said his name but played it cool by nodding as a response.

“Was the couch okay?” Jaebum asked as he sipped his coffee, doubt and remorse apparent in his voice.

“I slept well,” Jinyoung assured him and immediately took a deep breath and suddenly Jaebum knew something was off. Jinyoung kept the mug in his palms and held it in his lap where he also looked instead of facing Jaebum. “Listen… I- Yesterday wasn’t supposed to end like this, I didn’t want to use your hospitality like I did.”

“...No, that’s-” Jaebum stuttered when it seemed like Jinyoung wasn’t going to continue, but then he did so he stayed silent, gripping his cup in tension.

“I didn’t intend to look like a pushover like that, so… don’t think any low of me. And if you’d accept it, I’d like to offer you a dinner as a compensation.”

“No, no, it’s really fine, Jinyoung,” Jabeum was quick to respond, “just helping a neighbour in need, y’know?” He tried his best to look confident and for a while he felt his composure going back on. And if he wasn’t so absorbed in the way Jinyoung looked at him with his ruffled hair and mouth going slightly ajar, he’d notice that there was a hint of disappointment in his look too. He definitely didn’t expect to hear the second part of the sentence (unaware that Jaebum wasn’t being exactly honest either - Jinyoung wasn’t _just_ a “neighbour”).

“But the offer for a dinner still stands, alright?”

“...Alright,” Jaebum blushed.

After that, the two of them drank their coffees in silence that wasn’t either comfortable nor awkward. As it was weekend, Jaebum put a little bit more effort into his appearance, putting back the lip ring and adding one more earring onto the top of his ear. He also styled his hair and decided to wear jeans that were a little bit tighter than his usual uniform ones. And he might or might not have done it because of Jinyoung’s presence.He only hoped that he didn't just imagine the feeling of his eyes on him when they walked out of the apartment together.

 

Mark woke up to Jackson's lips on his neck, pressing small kisses on the skin exposed by the tank top, not forgetting to go over the couple of healing hickeys that decorated his collarbones. Mark let out a small breathy chuckle at how adoringly affectionate Jackson was especially on the weekend mornings.

"Good morning to you too," he whispered and Jackson looked up at him with his puppy eyes and a smile that was supposed to be a flirty smirk. It wasn't.

"Good morning, gorgeous," he said and leaned over to kiss him on the lips.

"Eww no, morning breath," Mark twisted his head away in disgust and Jackson theatrically frowned.

"Mark, you literally kiss me with my cum still in your mouth, can you-"

"Shut up," Mark whined.

"Make me," Jackson smirked.

Mark glanced to the other bed in the tiny dorm room. "Not in front of the kids," he said in a low volume.

"Ah, you're so mean! They aren't  _that_ innocent! I've had Bambam ranting to me about Yugyeom, he is  _not_ innocent."

"I will make it up to you later, alright?"

"You're still mean," Jackson grumbled in response after a while. Mark smiled back at him and put his hand on the back of Jackson's neck to pull him into a kiss. Jackson smirked against his lips, kissing back with passion. Neither of them actually minded the morning breath as much so they quickly got lost in the kiss, completely forgetting that they weren't alone. It was a rustle of sheets from the other bed that finally got them apart as they thought the "kids" were awake.

"I'm hungry," Mark said and a spark lit up in Jackson's eyes.

"I have an idea," he said, already getting up from the bed. Mark admired how Jackson looked in the mornings, hair tousled and skin of his waistline peeking through the gap created by the rolled up tank top. It definitely wasn't the first time he had seen him like that but he didn't feel like he could ever get tired of the sight. "Let's go to Jaebum's and grab something."

Mark was up in no time, looking forward to pry some information out of Jaebum. He no longer felt ashamed that he forgot to bring clothes to change into, borrowing Jackson's tee and a checkered shirt that surprisingly even matched with his jeans. He would definitely keep that shirt.

They arrived to the coffee shop hand in hand, admiring the winter scenery along the way (and if Jackson wasn't so taken back from how beautiful Mark looked, he would have made a snowball and throw it at him playfully and then maybe let himself be tackled into the snow and kiss Mark until his legs would sting from the cold). As they walked towards the coffee shop, they saw the door leading up to Jaebum's apartment open and both of them slowed down. It was Jinyoung who walked out, looking straight ahead of him with his head buried in the collar of his coat. He strided quickly in the direction of his apartment and didn't even notice that Mark stood only few steps away.

"Oh my god, that was Jinyoung, right?" Jackson asked, excited and surprised.

"Yeah," Mark said, delighted. So Jinyoung spent the night at Jaebum’s apartment? Mark would have never thought he’d live to the day to see Jinyoung doing the walk of shame.

They made their way into the shop quickly, looking forward to speaking to Jaebum. As they walked into the rather empty café, they noticed that Jaebum was just about to put on an apron and start working. They stood in the short line behind only one person and when it was finally time for them to order, Jaebum took over the shift.

"Hi you two, what can I get you?"

"Jaebum! How are you? The snow storm yesterday was crazy, right? We couldn't even go out. What about you?"

"I was okay, I guess," Jaebum said, trying to seem disinterested but revealing more of the confused, lovesick part of his current mood. What he didn't know was that there was a slight blush creeping up his cheeks.

"Okay, hm? Anyways, Bambam and Yugyeom finally got together yesterday."

"Hm," Jaebum exhaled in thought.  _Am I the only single one now?_ "So what do you want?"

"One caramel latte for Mark, one organic green tea for me and... hm, Yi-En, what do you think the kids would want?" Jackson turned to Mark but then back at Jaebum to add, "Bambam and Yugyeom are now staying at the dorm so we’re buying a breakfast for them, y'know? They met and... got together. Crazy, huh? People liking people." Jaebum kept looking at Jackson as he wrote the orders on the cups with faked-faked interest. So Jackson pressed more. "That reminds me! What about you and that Jinyoung guy!"

"What about him?" he asked but as the only response got both Mark and Jackson staring him down expectantly. "What?" No, he really didn't want to talk about it now. He needed to sort out his thoughts first.

"Well so I heard something from a friend of a friend whose name is Park..." Mark proposed, gesturing vaguely with a smirk.

"Goddammit," Jaebum cursed, thinking that Mark had probably eventually found a connection to Jinyoung. Mark had weird connections to people and so did Jackson and it wasn’t unlike them that they wouldn’t find Jinyoung at all. After all, it was Jaebum who stalked out Jinyoung’s facebook first. "He came here saying his apartment is freezing cold so we hung out for a while and then he asked to sleep over. Now what does Bambam and Yugyeom want?"

"Each other, but let's have this conversation first," Jackson said and Jaebum sighed loudly.

"Ka-Yee, let's just order, we can talk about it later," Mark touched Jackson's arm and Jackson instantly obeyed. "Two americanos, please? And those four double chocolate muffins."

Jaebum finished with the cups and handed them over to the second barista. He carefully wrapped up the muffins Mark asked for and handed them over to Jackson. They paid in silence, only interrupted by Jackson physically stopping Mark from swiping his card over the terminal and using his card instead. Because there were no other customers in the line, Jaebum was still exposed to Mark's and Jackson's stares. He sighed and leaned on the register.

"What else do you want to know?"

"Well, do you have his phone number? Did you decide on a date? Did you see him naked when he showered? Did you confess your undying love to each other? Did you finally figure out why you like him so much? There's a long list of questions, Jaebum."

Jaebum did want to vent. He wanted to talk about how much he was into Jinyoung. He wanted Jackson to help him with picking an outfit for their future date. He wanted to know what should he do next. He hadn’t had a real crush ever since high school and apart from Jinyoung, his last kiss had happened a year ago. And he barely even remembered Jinyoung’s kiss.

“Okay,” Jaebum sighed in surrender. He wanted someone to tell him that he didn’t misinterpret some of Jinyoung’s moves the previous evening (although he had barely noticed even half of the younger’s attempts). He continued in quieter voice, not wanting his co-worker to eavesdrop too much. “So he helped me clean up, jokingly insulted me few times but then he complimented me right after and said how hard working I am and stuff… And then I said you set me up for a date and he suddenly dragged me outside to walk around the city? And then he wanted to go back to his apartment and he was pretty upset about the whole thing, really, but then he found out he still can’t return there so he ran back out and asked me if he can sleep on my couch. And he offered me a date as a compensation and gave me his number.”

“Oh my god, and what do you even think about Jinyoung now?”

“I… want to talk to him more I guess?”

“That’s the answer I hoped for,” Jackson cheered but then added, “well okay not the one I hoped for but I don’t think you’d say that one out loud.”

Jaebum fought the blush that was again trying to light up his face. “So… what is your conclusion?”

“Jinyoung is totally into you,” Mark said as if it were a statement and Jaebum only shook his head in disagreement. Jinyoung isn’t  _into_ him. Jinyoung probably barely remembers his name. “Complimenting after insulting? Voluntarily helping with labor? Going for a long walk?  _Giving you his number?_ This is how he acts when he has a crush! Only when he has a crush!”

Jaebum flinched. “What?! Mark?!”

“What what?” Mark was confused. Why was Jaebum suddenly attacking him?

“Didn’t you say you don’t know  _anyone_ who goes by the name Jinyoung?”

Mark gasped, speechless. An upset Jaebum was a dangerous Jaebum. Mark suddenly found himself standing on a tightrope, his future a tossup between either a broken rib or a broken neck. Or at least that’s what Jackson had described Jaebum’s wrath as.

“Jaebum,” Jackson interrupted the tension and put his whole arm in front of Mark as a shield and placed his other hand on the small of his back. His expression was again one of the theatrical ones, partially offended but also amused. “That is  _not_ important right now. What matters is,” he made a pause for emphasis, “that Jinyoung is into you. Alright?”

“Jackson,” Jaebum sighed, tired of the endless positivity, “he isn’t into me, and even if he was, dating isn’t really my thing, remember?”

“I think even you don’t agree with that. So come on, what are you going to do now?”

_That’s what I’m trying to decide._

“Hm, let me see,” Jaebum pondered. He hadn’t actually thought about it to that point - the whole evening happened more or less naturally and although he could some change in how he viewed the situation, he didn’t feel like jumping into conclusions or taking risks. “I will go on that date with the Youngjae guy. And if I’m not into him, I will wait for Jinyoung to take me out,” he said matter-of-factly.

Jackson groaned in boredom. Mark gave Jaebum a wide grin and spoke up merrily. “Boring, but I’m sure it will drive Jinyoung crazy.”

 

(Few minutes after leaving the café, Jackson appeared again, now without Mark and out of breath. He immediately attracted Jaebum’s look as he approached the register in hurry, skipping the short line of people. “Jaebum!” he desperately shouted and earned stares from the entire line, his tone stating that he had an emergency. “Mark yesterday mentioned someone who bought a t-shirt with floral design. I think it was definitely a hint. Give me please six of those red roses you got there near the window?”

“Jackson, I don’t think that was a hint-”

“No, it had to be a hint, I  _have_ to buy him flowers. Remember, never go without a flower.”)

 

Jaebum didn’t get it. Why would Mark lie to him?

He tried his best to ignore the elephant in the room, he really did. He didn’t know what to do with himself, though. Jinyoung had been pretty much flirting with him last night but still somehow remained distant - Jaebum knew only very little about him and Jinyoung didn’t even seem like he would be willing to get to know him more (or let Jaebum get to know him more). Jaebum… wasn’t entirely sure if trying to get closer to Jinyoung wouldn’t only end up in a heartbreak.

On the other hand, it was Jinyoung.  _The_ Park Jinyoung,  _dreamy prince with the cutest-_

And with that, Jaebum’s head made yet another contact with the cold wall of the staff room wall as he mentally prepared for his blind date. He had already changed into a black shirt to go with a leather jacket and boots and Youngjae was supposed to arrive in ten minutes, yet he felt a strange anxiety that didn’t originate from the thought of the date itself. Jaebum didn’t feel nervous from meeting Youngjae, no, it came from something different that he couldn’t exactly put his finger on. It almost felt like if he were sneaking out of his parents’ house in the middle of the night to go hang out with a kid that he was forbidden to hang out with. Or cheating on his husband of 20 years.  _Or something like that_ , Jaebum mentally scoffed at his own thoughts.

After instructing a part-time worker on how to properly lock up the café, Jaebum was standing outside of the café, nervously stomping his feet in one spot in a poor attempt to regain some warmth. He glanced - for the 10th time, probably - at the clock on his phone to see that Youngjae was by no matter late, no. Jaebum was early and Youngjae wasn’t going to show up in the next few minutes. The coffee shop behind him was still open, surprisingly busy, and Jaebum felt his chest tighten at the thought that he could, too, be now sitting in his warm apartment instead of waiting for a blind date in the freezing cold weather.

He refused to let his thoughts wander to the dangerous territory called Park Jinyoung…

So the universe did it for him.

“Waiting for me?” Jaebum practically jumped when he heard the voice that he had known so well. It was Jinyoung, walking up to him wearing the coat that complimented his posture so well and that stupid smile that went all the way up to his eyes.

“J-Jinyoung…!” Jaebum backed up, flustered. What was he doing there now?

Jinyoung almost laughed, putting up his palm in front of his mouth to hide his grin. He composed himself quickly, only a sly smirk remaining. He nodded towards Jaebum. “Shouldn’t pretty flowers like you stay inside in a weather like this?”

Jaebum spluttered, scoffed, blushed, snickered, choked on his own spit… Basically managed to go through the whole spectrum of human emotion within one second. What was this boy attempting? Was he really flirting with him outrageously like this, in front of his own shop, managing to humiliate him  _and_ make his heart swell at the same time?

No, no, his heart didn’t  _swell_. He was only caught off guard. And if it wasn’t for the snow, his cheeks wouldn’t even turn cotton candy pink. Jaebum didn’t  _blush_. Jaebum was manly.

No, Jinyoung wouldn’t play with him like this anymore, he decided. Jinyoung needed to pay for all this.

“N-no, ah-I was-”  _Good job on that one, Jaebum._

“Shouldn’t I pick you up, then? You would fit into my bedroom  _so well_.”

By that point, Jaebum was borderline fuming. Before he managed to say anything, Jinyoung was grinning in accomplishment.  _Accomplishment in what, completely derailing Jaebum?_

“What are you doing here?” Jaebum finally managed to speak up, pleased with himself as his voice didn’t break.

“Actually, I was going to pick you up,” Jinyoung said more casually now, “for the date I owe you.”

_Fuck, no._

Jaebum opened his mouth to gape at Jinyoung like a fish mouthing at the thin air, desperately trying to come up with something,  _anything_ to say to not completely tell Jinyoung off but also to decline politely, but suddenly the universe decided that no, there is a much better way to make his life even more horrible.

“Hi, are you Jaebum?” Jaebum turned to face the person that just spoke to him to see a younger, shorter man with lightly bleached hair, smiling at him widely.  _Oh fuck, this is awkward_. Jaebum hopelessly scrambled for words to say - how do you even handle a situation as ridiculous as this?  _Hi, yes, that’s me, now would you mind, I have to turn down a date with a guy I sucked off that one time, only then we can go on our date._

“You know Youngjae?” Jinyoung was genuinely surprised and for a while, it even seemed like he was as perplexed as Jaebum was from his flirting. Jaebum’s heart was beating in slight panic, not knowing who should he talk to first.

“Yeah, that’s me, and you’re Youngjae I assume? Nice to meet you,” Jaebum awkwardly extended his hand to shake Youngjae’s and managed a bow. Then he turned to Jinyoung who was watching the scene as if it was a physics textbook.  _Now it’s my time_. “Youngjae is my date tonight. Sorry.”

“O-oh.”

Youngjae flashed a wide smile. “Didn’t expect seeing you here, Jinyoung. It’s been awhile since we talked, right? What are you up to?”

“Oh yeah, I was just uh, about to get my caffeine fix, yeah,” Jinyoung said with a fake confidence and hoped Jaebum wouldn’t tell on him.

“Coffee at 8pm?” Youngjae laughed and it was obvious that him and Jinyoung had known each other for a while already from how teasing the laugh was. Or maybe Youngjae just liked to laugh sincerely.

“Yeah, doing an all-nighter, I have an essay,” Jinyoung briskly answered in hopes of sounding convincing.  _All nighter my ass, I’m not even going to bother with watching porn this time,_ he thought and almost snickered at the thought. His evening was in shambles.  _Why put so much effort into looking presentable when my date canceled on me for my friend?_ And wait, wasn’t Youngjae straight?

But before he could voice his concerns for the date, Jaebum and Youngjae were already about to say goodbye. So Jinyoung gave them a little wave, winked at Jaebum not-so-discretely just to boost his own ego, and entered the coffee shop just for the sake of keeping up the act. He left after barely a minute of staring at the menu, kicked the snow on the pavement in frustration and then finally got back into his apartment to try to find an evidence that Youngjae really is straight.


	2. part 2

“So how did it go,” Mark asked, sipping on his tea. Youngjae was seated on a stool across from him on the other side of the kitchen countertop, nursing his own mug full of black tea in his palms.

“I think he totally fell for it,” Youngjae said excitedly, “both of them, actually.” It was already the second day after their staged date, that Mark and Jackson settled for the sake of developing the relationship, and nothing new happened between Jaebum and Jinyoung since then. It wasn’t surprising to him. He had known Jinyoung since his orientation week and if it wasn’t for their schedules clashing they would probably hang out as much as he did with Jackson (okay maybe not  _as much_ ), so he knew that Jinyoung was now probably collecting his ego back up and trying to come up with a plan what to do next.

Mark’s flat wasn’t too big and apart from a thin door slide there was nothing separating the living room with kitchenette from the bedroom, so both him and Youngjae immediately heard when Jackson woke up from a nap. There was a rustle of sheets, a thud as Jackson’s arm hit the mattress and a silent groan.

“Yi-En,” Jackson whined quietly and then continued in fluent mandarin, “ _need_   _cuddles. Please.”_ Mark blushed - Jackson only spoke chinese when he was in Hong Kong with his family and when he was talking to Mark and in a way, it was their own way of being intimate without having to take off their clothes. But without clothes too (although Mark would never admit to anyone apart from Jackson that speaking chinese in bed was such a huge turn on).

He chuckled shyly under Youngjae’s gaze. “ _Gaga, Youngjae is here with the news,_ ” he spoke in mandarin, not having to shout because of the short distance and the sensitivity of Jackson’s ears after waking up. There was a grunt followed by yet another rustle of the sheets and Mark could imagine Jackson trying to hide under the blanket like if he were a kid. “News concerning Jinyoung and Jaebum.”

Mark had probably never witnessed Jackson getting up so fast - he barely threw on a crinkled tank top, not caring that Youngjae would see his underwear. He needed answers. “I’m here, hi Youngjae,” he hurried to the kitchen and leaned against the countertop in the same way as Mark in hopes that it would make him look more awake and composed.

Mark and Youngjae exchanged knowing look, both recalling their conversation where Mark confessed to how much he adored Jackson for how caring and precious he was. Mark looked over at him and his heart swelled on the sight of Jackson being all sleepy with his hair ruffled and heavy eyelids. He reached his hand over to brush through the blond strands and make him look more presentable, staring at him adoringly in the process.

“Okay, so the first thing,” Youngjae began telling the whole story, “when I came up to him, Jinyoung was talking to him and most probably flirting because Jaebum looked really flustered. Then Jaebum said that we’re going on a date and although Jinyoung did try to conceal it, it was obvious it really took him by surprise. So I questioned him why was he there and he backed up and said that he’s just getting coffee to pull an all-nighter. And when we left, I saw him exit the shop right away, looking like a kicked puppy.

“So I decided to be stubborn about it and asked Jaebum few times during the date to tell me ‘how do you know Jinyoung?’ or ‘what did you talk about?’ and he always got so much into it and it took him a while before he realized that he shouldn’t talk about another guy when he’s on a date. So we watched the movie and although we were both really bored - thanks for the tickets again, Jackson - he was all thanking me for the date and all and yeah. He didn’t even initiate any hand holding and was overall really distant unless I asked about Jinyoung.”

“Hmm, I see,” Jackson said with a mischief. He turned to Mark. “So what is the next step in our plan?”

“Jaebum should be more confident in front of Jinyoung or he won’t ever allow Jinyoung to get too close with him,” Mark pondered. When Jinyoung was taking the lead things were moving really fast, but Jaebum was a strong man and had his pride and being looked down onto wasn’t something he would want to get used to. It was obvious Jaebum was enjoying every little bit of power over Jinyoung, he just needed few more opportunities for it. “Making Jinyoung a bit jealous was definitely a good move.”

Youngjae furrowed his brow in bafflement a little bit that the couple had barely noticed it. “Don’t get me wrong, Mark,” he said and both Mark’s and Jackson’s eyes were instantly on him. He wasn’t the kind of person to confront people too much. “Isn’t that kinda weird?”

Neither of them spoke, staring at Youngjae in complete silence, frozen on the spot.

“I mean… It’s their relationship, right?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Mark started hastily apologizing, putting his palms in front of him as a way of surrender. Youngjae knew Mark misunderstood, though. “You can back up right this instant! I get that pretending to like someone and drop fake hints is tough, I don’t want to force you into anything.”

“That’s not really what I meant?”

“No, don’t apologize, it’s okay!”

“Mark! I really don’t mind faking interest in Jaebum, it’s just…” Mark stared at Youngjae, perplexed. “I’m worried if this is really the right thing to do, to interfere into someone else’s relationship. Can’t they just figure it out themselves?”

Mark and Jackson stayed silent, contemplating. Jackson was first to speak up. “They’re stubborn, I think a little bit of a help won’t hurt?” He didn’t sound too confident but Youngjae understood that there was probably no point in fighting over it.

“Yeah, we are not technically forcing them to do anything, right?” Mark added, glancing at Jackson at times just to get the agreement from him at least. “We’re just… putting them into situations that will force them to act.”

“But… why are you forcing them? It’s not like they’d been pining over each other for two years and finally need to figure themselves out.”

“In fact, they do know each other.”

“What?”

Jackson glanced at Mark who was speaking in a more serious voice now. “Jinyoung has been going to that coffee shop for over two years now and he has been pining,  _fucking pining_ over Jaebum for  _so long_ , basically from the day one. He actually only recently found out Jaebum’s name when I started going out with Ka-Yee.”

“ _What?!_ ” Youngjae almost shouted, now when all clicked together. “Jaebum is… Jaebum is  _Jinyoung’s coffee guy_?”

Mark nodded furiously, lips pursed together in an I-told-you-so expression and Jackson joined him. Youngjae clicked his tongue in thought.

It really had been two whole years since Jinyoung saw Jaebum for the first time after he had moved into his apartment. He had been so excited to have a huge living space like this all to himself, situated near the campus on a street that had a lot of shops and wasn’t too expensive. His parents supported him without any problems - his father was a CEO of a huge company and didn’t mind paying most of Jinyoung’s living expenses. And everything had been going for Jinyoung well, he never felt overly exhausted by school, his friends never had much of a need to start drama and his part time job in his father’s company had never clashed with his schedule because his father was his boss and wouldn’t let Jinyoung lack in his social life only because of some stupid paperwork. And his love life… Well, that was a little bit of a problem.

When he’d first got into college, he hadn’t been really planning on trying to woo boys. The only thing he had dealt with were random guys trying to ask him out or hitting on him and trying to get to at least a one-night stand. It was something he had enjoyed witnessing and boosted his ego on. But the actual relationship, even if it was just for a single night? Not so much. Jinyoung enjoyed sex as much as the next guy but there was something so… hurtful to his pride. Jinyoung wanted his partner to know he isn’t made of porcelain, that when he requested that he wanted his hair to be pulled he didn’t want to be constantly asked if it wasn’t too much. He didn’t mind doing it dirty and being constantly treated as a precious flower boy or as a bossy dom never got him the real thing. No one had bothered to get to know him enough to find out that his idea of ideal relationship or even a casual fuck was the exact opposite to what he always got.

But on the other hand, getting emotionally attached to a barista in a flower café was definitely not what Jinyoung had expected. Jaebum seemed to be the type of person he was looking for. Handsome man with boyish features who always looked either like a nerdy high school sweetheart who would never swear and went to the church and Sunday school, or as a punk badass sex god who probably had a motorcycle and only listened to music that had mostly black album art. But most importantly Jinyoung had learned that Jaebum was not the type to fuck around with - telling from that one time when some teenagers broke a window and all of them nearly teared up when Jaebum scolded them. Jinyoung desperately wanted to try if he could turn the tables around.

“I’m… not gonna force myself onto Jaebum just to make Jinyoung jealous,” he sighed eventually and the couple’s smiles visibly faltered. “But if the situation will require it, I will act in a way that would make them question their feelings.”

On that, Jackson immediately threw himself onto Youngjae, nearly spilling his mug as he attempted to crush his smaller frame in a bear hug.

 

Jinyoung rolled off the bed lazily, checking the time on the screen of his phone. It was 5pm, not exactly the ideal time to wake up from a nap, but the nap was also necessary for his proper functioning. He got back from his part time job at 2pm and really didn’t have the energy to hold himself awake until the evening. Which lead him to…

Jinyoung whined. He had a movie night arranged for today with Mark and Jackson. Mark had suggested that few other people might drop by too and Jinyoung really didn’t have the energy to deal with anyone new so he only hoped that it’s only Yugyeom with his new boyfriend. But wait, did he even have the energy to deal with Yugyeom? Or with the lovesick couple of Mark and Jackson?

No, he needed to get through it, he decided. It was just a movie night and all he was was little bit groggy and sleepy.

Jinyoung took a brisk shower in hopes that it would make him feel a little bit more fresh and decided to wear only a simple and cozy gray sweater with blue light wash jeans. It wasn’t one of his best looking outfits, sweaters matched with blue jeans always made him look smaller and more vulnerable, but he didn’t care too much. Mark was never really the one to judge outfits, Jackson had his eyes for Mark only and if some strangers decided to appear, he wouldn’t talk to them anyways.

He walked out of the apartment not even thirty minutes later. As he stepped into the cold air, he quickly realized he had underestimated the number of layers, shivering a little bit already. He crossed the street and was about to turn in the direction of Mark’s apartment but then an idea struck him as he saw the familiar building in the corner of his eye, sending a sharp tingle into his chest that he interpreted as prickling of the frost.

The decision to change his direction was only partially subconscious and Jinyoung soon found himself in front of Jaebum’s coffee shop. He hadn’t contacted Jaebum ever since his failed attempt to take him out only few days ago and was practically buzzing with eagerness to see Jaebum again, wanting to get another shy reactions out of him, wanting to see the look on his face when he was cornering him with his words only. However, he still couldn’t bear how his chest tightened at the same time - Jaebum was maybe going out with Youngjae now or was at least getting there. Jinyoung couldn’t bear the very thought of it, he had called dibs on Jaebum two years ago! Jinyoung hadn’t ever want to be the kind of a person to be involved in cheating but… who was Youngjae to just stride into the image and take Jaebum?!

There still was a faint chance that Jaebum didn’t fall for Youngjae’s charms, though. With the self-persuasion of that, Jinyoung walked into the café, practically beaming with what seemed like confidence, making sure his walk towards the counter was as glamorous and provocative as it could get. He briefly thought of what to say to make himself look unaffected by the rejection from the last time and like if he hadn’t been avoiding seeing Jaebum for almost a week. Now he would just walk up to Jaebum and say that-

“Hi, can I get you anything?”

That wasn’t Jaebum.

It didn’t happen for the first time, Jinyoung walking into the café to find out that Jaebum was on a different shift that day, but now, of all times?

Jinyoung’s smile faltered, managing a small shake of his head and backing up. His heart was beating frantically as his stiffened legs carried him out on the street, making his way in the direction of Mark’s apartment almost unknowingly, oblivious to his surroundings.

He made his way to the doors to Mark’s and only then realized that he had zoned out for the most of his way. Why did it matter so much that Jaebum wasn’t in today? Why was this any special to when he had his regular days off?

He knocked on the door to see a very happy Mark, greeting him with a delighted laugh. “Jinyoungie! Come on in,” he talked as Jinyoung stepped inside and started taking off his coat and shoes. “We are still waiting for Yugyeom and Bambam. Yugyeom texted me like five minutes ago that he is really sorry but he had to win a snow fight.”

“Oh, unexpected,” Jinyoung scoffed. He was just about to apologize for his own delay when there was a huge explosion of laughter from the bedroom which wasn’t visible from where they were standing. “Who else is here?”

Mark hesitated, speaking a little bit quieter. “You’ll see.” He led him further into the apartment and the laughter only increased. The moment they stepped into the viewpoint, Jinyoung immediately sensed something wrong and his heart picked up a frantic speed. Jackson was there, sitting on Mark's bed, watching something apparently really hilarious on his phone while two other people sat next to him, watching and laughing with him - Jaebum and Youngjae.

"Hi, Jinyoung!" Jackson greeted him and stood up, still clutching his phone in his hand. The other two men also stood up and if Jinyoung wasn't so perplexed as he was, he'd notice an equally confused stare coming from Jaebum.

"Hey," he barely managed and his gaze switched back to Jaebum, then at Youngjae and then back at Jaebum. "Hi," he said but then realized he doesn't actually know what to say so he was only left with a second of awkward silence before he greeted Youngjae.

Jaebum looked stunning. Not the usual kind of stunning, not like a celebrity on a red carpet, it was that kind of stunning that took Jinyoung’s breath and words. Jaebum wasn’t even wearing anything special - he was actually dressed really comfortably, in a pair of loose fit black jeans and a long gray cardigan that draped over his shoulders in a way that made him look really  _adorable_ and  _domestic_. His hair was down and Jinyoung just somehow suddenly really craved cuddles, the bare thought of hugging Jaebum sending butterflies into his stomach.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” Jaebum said in a voice that was a mix of politeness and genuine shock. “I didn’t know you even know Mark, he only told me like last week.”

“Yeah, same,” Jinyoung barely stuttered out. He held his voice carefully so it wouldn’t quiver and give away how overwhelmed he felt at the moment. He felt like he had tons of questions for Jaebum, he needed to talk to him - but he couldn’t find any words to express himself. There was a faint voice in his head wanting to know if the fact that Jaebum hadn’t contacted him in a week was because he didn’t like Jinyoung or because he was now dating Youngjae, wanting to know if he ever had had a chance with Jaebum. But all of the questions eventually became a bare nod in acknowledgement of Jaebum’s presence.

“Jinyoung!” Jackson finally interrupted the awkward silence, catching everyone’s attention immediately. “We weren’t properly introduced yet, am I right?”

“Oh,” Jinyoung gasped. He didn’t fully realized that this was the first time he was seeing Jackson in real life - Mark always made sure to indulge him on Jackson’s Instagram updates and how much he loved Jackson’s presence and Jackson himself. Now, when Jinyoung could finally judge if Jackson was as good looking as his profile pictures promised, he was pleasantly surprised. He had always thought that Mark had little bit of a weird type, but Jackson? Jackson was  _not bad_. Although he had already known about it, his muscular figure was only complimenting his sharp facial features and it wasn’t hard to reason Mark’s physical attraction towards him. “Yeah, I’m Jinyoung. Mark talks about you  _all the time_.”

“ _Awww_ ,” Jackson cooed overdramatically and walked towards Mark with his arms open, pulling him into a strange type of a side hug where his both arms enveloped Mark’s torso but they were both facing their friends. Mark beamed at him adoringly and Jackson reciprocated the gaze and Jinyoung could almost swear he heard their heartbeats quicken in sync. “That’s so lame,” he snickered, producing high-pitched voices while cringing his face like if he just witnessed someone trip over their own legs in public and was desperately trying not to laugh.

“Ka-Yee, we’ve been dating for weeks,” Mark said, trying to keep his cheeks from blushing. Yes, dating for weeks but things like that still made him blush like crazy. Would that ever go away? Mark hoped it never would.

Before Jackson could answer, the doorbell rang and Mark left them to go answer it. Meanwhile, they silently gathered on the couch and the mat that was spread next to it as the couch itself could barely seat four people. Jinyoung sat at the end of the couch next to Youngjae who sat next to Jaebum and Jinyoung only  _hoped_ that the arrangement would change as the newcomers would arrive.

“Hi Mark!” A loud shout echoed from the door as a young boy entered the apartment, trying to take off his shoes and coat, greet Mark and set down the bag with takeout food on the ground, all at the same time. “Hey Jackson! Hey Jaebum!” He shouted into the room and Jinyoung could notice that there was another person standing behind him - Yugyeom. Both Jackson and Jaebum shouted back “hi” in unisono and Jinyoung began feeling out of place.

“Hey dude, you dyed your hair?!” Mark gaped at the boy. He had silver hair and his makeup was definitely more intricate than a simple bb cream. When he took off his coat and shoes (very nice looking shoes) Jinyoung noticed that he put definitely a lot of effort into his appearance. All of that made Jinyoung suddenly feel underdressed.

“Bambam! It’s  _so_ cool!” Jackson hurried to stand up and take a better look at him.

“It’s not technically dyeing, it’s bleaching and a toner, but yes,” Bambam replied.

It all clicked, though. When Jinyoung set Yugyeom up with the author of the anonymous facebook post, he imagined someone of this kind of character. It was just hard to recognize the boy with the new hairstyle, especially when Jinyoung didn’t pay much attention to his profile picture.

They all eventually stood up and Jinyoung with Youngjae greeted Yugyeom without further ceremonies. Yugyeom, smiling all shy, took Bambam’s wrist (who was happily chatting with Jackson about his hair) and decided to properly introduce him. “Jinyoung, Youngjae,” he began and Bambam paused to look at what he’s doing, “this is my boyfriend, Bambam.”

He said it in such way that made Bambam’s heart swell in affection and he slowly moved his hand so he would be holding Yugyeom’s hand in his.

“Hi Bambam, nice finally seeing you in person,” Jinyoung said with a hint of hidden mischief in his voice and Bambam immediately got Yugyeom staring at him in confusion. “I gave him your number when he was looking for you,” Jinyoung explained and recharged his confidence in the way the couple reacted, all embarrassed and shy.

“ _Bambam!_ ” Mark almost screamed from the doors, half terrified and half disgusted. Bambam and Yugyeom immediately turned around to see what’s happening while Jackson hurried towards Mark, scared that something had happened. But Mark was only standing next to the coat hangers, pinching the material of Bambam’s coat between his fingers.

“What is it?” Bambam asked confusedly.

“Why is your entire coat drenched?” Mark sounded beyond disgusted, especially because the wet coat was hanging on top of other jackets and the water dripping from it was already starting to pool on the floor.

Bambam gasped to say something but only ended up laughing nervously. Next to him, Yugyeom was basically spluttering, his face going beetroot red.

“Oh my god! Your socks are drenched too! You’re making a mess,  _everywhere!_ ” Mark was almost shouting, although there was no real menace. He was only overly curious and also little bit upset that he will have to sweep the floor.

“It’s not my fault! Yugyeom threw me into a pile of snow!” Bambam fired back and Yugyeom only snickered more.

“So that’s why you’re late?” Jackson giggled.

“Yeeah, I guess?” Bambam sneered. Yugyeom nudged his arm with his elbow inconspicuously, hanging his head in embarrassment despite the playful gesture. He got a small nudge back and was very happy when all of them finally moved towards the couch so they could watch the movie.

“Don’t pretend you didn’t like it,” Yugyeom muttered so no one else but Bambam would hear him, smile and blush apparent in his voice. Bambam looked at him with a wide smile and Yugyeom looked up and when their eyes met, they only started to snicker more, almost gaining the attention of the others back. Yes, making out in snow until their legs were freezing was definitely their new favorite.

“What are we watching?” Youngjae asked with his mouth full of snacks when all of them finally sat down. Jackson and Mark were cuddling on the couch right next to Yugyeom and Bambam, who were more hesitant to any pda but shared a take-out box nevertheless, occasionally feeding each other when no one was looking and held hands under a giant blanket they had over themselves. Jaebum sat between Jinyoung and Youngjae on the mat covered with a thick duvet and pillows to make it more comfortable to sit on, however Jinyoung nor Jaebum felt comfortable. Youngjae was chilling on the other hand and his hand was constantly reaching to the big bowl of popcorn that was nestled in Jaebum’s lap.

“So when I was entering high school, there was this guy in the oldest class, right, his name was Lu Han,” Jackson started explaining as the movie began. “And because Yi-En had some mutual friends with him, we found out that he became an actor and even got into a chinese-american movie. So we’re watching that.”

Jinyoung couldn’t find himself enjoying the movie at all. If he were paying attention maybe he would grasp the plot but with Jaebum and Youngjae next to him, possible soon-to-be-boyfriends he only kept zoning out, deeper and deeper into his thoughts. The air around him felt dense, stuffy like during the summer nights when the air conditioning stopped working. He didn’t know if it was just him who found the silence awkward, unmoving and stiff, but charged with some strange energy at the same time. He was overly conscious of every little movement that happened next to him, every little shift of Jaebum’s legs or every move of Youngjae’s hand reaching for the snack.

He briefly wondered - should he try to push his luck and go for the popcorn too? Or are Jaebum and Youngjae something more and trying to break it would only bring awkwardness into their group? Or is the popcorn really nothing to stress about and he shouldn’t worry too much about it?

There was really no way of finding out how close were the two of them. Although it was the only thing that Jinyoung cared about in that moment. Not some stupid movie. Jinyoung yawned and laughed along with others at some remark that Jackson made before he finally gathered his confidence and reached over to the bowl of popcorn. He took a handful and pulled back as soon as he could without dropping anything. He thought that he only imagined that Jaebum looked at him in that very moment, startled but also… somehow so fond that if Jinyoung were to look back at him, he wouldn’t have missed the spark in his eyes.

In that very moment, Yugyeom started coughing furiously, so much that all six of them turned to look at him. “Are you okay?” Jackson asked with a hint of ridicule in his voice. Yugyeom didn’t answer, red in the face and managing to nod a little bit. Bambam didn’t say anything. Yugyeom got up and aimed for the bathroom, almost pulling the blanket that was covering him and Bambam off the couch. The five of them turned back to the movie, completely ignoring the situation. Bambam however sat restlessly and in the very moment when even Jackson stopped eyeing him curiously, he got up and walked away - following Yugyeom to the bathroom.

Mark sighed, maneuvering himself on the couch so he was laying on Jackson’s lap and his legs were stretched out across the sofa to where Yugyeom and Bambam had sat only mere seconds ago. Jackson lifted his eyebrows on that but Mark only shrugged. “It’s not like they will come back soon.”

“Ew, true,” Jackson muttered, his fingers slipping into Mark’s hair naturally.

Jinyoung almost blushed at the situation. It was awkward and he only hoped that the walls in Mark’s apartment were thick enough. What was harder, though, was that there was no help for the intrusive thoughts spilling in Jinyoung’s head - what if he and Jaebum were in the same situation? Stealing touches under a thin blanket, dragging his hand maybe little bit more higher…

It was Youngjae who immediately pulled him out of the dangerous train of thoughts. Youngjae’s hand wasn’t in the popcorn bowl, no - it was now comfortably resting on Jaebum’s knee.

He thought he only imagined the silent snickering coming from Jackson’s direction - it was his fate laughing at him, making fun of his pitiful love life. This was the end line. Youngjae had to have 100% certainty that Jaebum wouldn’t pull away, freak out and make a scene - they were in a room with their friends and to make such a bold move, with what it was suggesting in relation to what Yugyeom and Bambam just did? Hell, not even Jinyoung was this bold.

In other news, Jaebum was now taken.

Jinyoung briefly pondered, was he that type of person to merge? Was it a good idea to try and get between Jaebum and Youngjae?

No, it wasn’t. Cheating was bad and making someone to cheat was even worse.

But didn’t Youngjae basically force himself onto Jaebum?

 

Jinyoung wanted to hate Jaebum. For two years had he been going to his café, wanting nothing but to be noticed, and now when he was finally spending time with Jaebum, one of his good friends just waltzes in and Jaebum lets himself be snatched just like that. Of course Jinyoung was pissed off.

He still remembered the first day he went into that café, it was during the first week of college. He walked in and Jaebum was just standing there, rearranging the tulips in the topmost row of buckets. He looked ethereal, illuminated by a ray of sunshine streaming through the big window and softening his sharp facial features. His skin was velvety smooth, giving out a boyish look - although his wide shoulders and muscular arms completely disrupted that vibe, making Jinyoung very much curious whether his personality was sweet and kind or if he was the local troublemaker. He was only pleasantly surprised when he first talked to him as his voice was husky and gravelly but still endearing and lovely in a way.

And although he had seen Jaebum on the campus at random times, none of the encounters mattered anything when he had seen Jaebum in that club. He went there with no intention of leaving with someone, he just wanted to have a drink, maybe let himself be invited for a drink but only for the sake of getting drunk for free. But the second he saw Jaebum just casually leaning on the bar, jeans sinfully tight and  _was that an eyeliner?_ \- he knew he had to do something. He didn’t even bother with a cheesy pick up line, he just started talking and Jaebum was replying and at some point one of them (Jinyoung forgot who it actually was) suggested leaving the sweaty stuffy air of the club. Jinyoung couldn’t deny the butterflies that he got when he recalled what happened after that.

But now, when he recalled what it felt like to kiss Jaebum, the only thing he felt was a burning sensation in his stomach, like a gaping void trying to swallow his insides. Jaebum sat only mere centimeters away from him, yet he was so far out of his reach. Yugyeom and Bambam had already returned (and received a proper amount of stares and giggles and playful insults) and Youngjae’s hand was still resting on Jaebum’s thigh. But what was worse, Jaebum’s arm was now resting on the couch behind Youngjae and although he wasn’t technically touching Youngjae it made Jinyoung sulk on the inside, making him want to scream and shout and smash plates.

Luckily for him though, the movie ended soon and that meant that everyone stood up and stretched. Jinyoung did too and was more than happy when Mark asked him to help him bring the empty dishes to the kitchen. He didn’t miss when Mark looked at him with one eyebrow raised suggestively.  _You’re so whipped, Jinyoung_.

“How did you like the movie?” Mark asked as he was putting the dishes into the dishwasher. Jinyoung was standing beside him, holding a glass of one of the cheap wines that they had opened during the movie. The others were sitting on the couch and next to it, chatting loudly.

“It was so stupid,” Jinyoung chuckled after a particularly big gulp, “I think I must’ve fallen asleep at some point because I don’t even remember half of it.” He knew he was lying, the reason behind not paying attention was so obvious. But if there was even the faintest chance that Mark would buy it, of course Jinyoung would lie and try to seem like he is already over Jaebum. Jaebum can see other people, right? It’s not like they were a thing even, they had spent a night together and then saw each other again and talked and although Jinyoung did in fact try to take him out for a date, there were no hard feelings about the rejection and Jinyoung took it as a clear no.

“Sure, Jinyoungie,” Mark smirked at him as he straightened his back and sipped at his own wine.

“What does that even mean-” Jinyoung began but as they were to initiate the first step out of the kitchenette, they almost bumped into Youngjae and Jaebum.

“Where are you going?” Mark asked Youngjae who was already in the space for shoes in front of the exit. Jaebum was tailing behind him with a little bit of a confused expression.

“I’m  _so_ sorry, Mark,” Youngjae said as he was putting on his shoes, his voice strained because of the uncomfortable position. Meanwhile, others gathered around them too. “My boss just called me, my coworker got sick so they need me for the morning. That means I should be waking up in seven hours so um, I’m sorry? I really gotta go.”

“No no no, stay here! Youngjae…!” Jackson whined, tugging at Youngjae’s sleeve like a child. “Jaebum will be sad now!”

The corners of Jinyoung’s lips that were involuntarily rising immediately dropped back down into a frown. “Yeah, that’s true! You can still stay for a while, that won’t hurt, right? I’m sure Jaebum would make a coffee for you for free!”

“I’m sorry guys, Jaebum, it was really nice meeting you all,” Youngjae put on his coat and looked at each one of them individually, spending extra seconds on Jaebum, before he slipped out of the door with a friendly grin on his face.

“Dude…!” Jackson whined only mere seconds after the door closed shut, not really caring whether he sounds genuine or not. The point was to make Jinyoung jealous and it seemed like there is nothing stopping him from getting away with it, mostly because Jinyoung was already a goner. “What do we do now without Youngjae? Jaebum will be completely useless now…” Jackson was being overdramatic, but Mark was still playing along, shaking his head and throwing his arms up in despair.

“What do you mean by useless?” Jaebum questioned but Jackson only tsked.

“Jaebum, you don’t have to pretend we didn’t notice you and Youngjae,” Jackson lectured him. At that point, Jinyoung was barely holding his composure, holding in the last bits of his patience. Why the hell did Mark even invite him? To watch how Youngjae crushes on Jaebum? To be able to only make up all kinds of possible scenarios that could have happened between the two of them on their date and the days after? “He is  _so_ into you. What are you waiting for? Or are you already dating?”

“Shut up,” Jaebum stuttered, searching for words. He was somewhere between flustered and upset - yes, it was endearing how affectionately Youngjae acted towards him and how kind of good it felt even, but something in his body screamed against it and hated the fact that he was now being associated with Youngjae. It felt like if he were cheating, which was weird because he didn’t have a boyfriend he could be cheating on, obviously. It felt  _weird_.

They eventually settled on playing board games, the original english version of Scrabbles to be specific. Needless to say, it was mostly Mark’s idea as he was the one who owned the game in the first place, eventually making Jinyoung, Jaebum and Yugyeom mad. “But Mark, you  _lived_ in America! I can barely get by with my english! It’s so not fair…!” Yugyeom whined and Jaebum nodded in agreement. They were all sitting on the carpet around a coffee table where the game was being set up by Jackson, who was equally as excited to play as Mark who sat right next to him.

“Well we don’t have enough of the letter stands anyways so what if we were in teams?” Bambam proposed, knowing too well that there was an obvious advantage he, Mark and Jackson had as foreigners. When he watched an english movie with Yugyeom, they always had to have the korean subtitles on, and he was well aware of Jaebum reluctancy to even try to speak english.

“Okay, so,” Mark said when Jackson finished putting everything on the table, “we will make teams. Me and Jackson will be by ourselves. Bambam has good english so he will be with Yugyeom to help him. Jinyoung has fair knowledge too but not as much so he can be in pair with Jaebum, is that okay?”

“Yep,” Yugyeom and Bambam nodded at the same time, excited that they can collaborate.

“Uh, that doesn’t make sense,” Jinyoung protested and everyone gave him a questioning look. Maybe apart from Jaebum who probably agreed with the objection. “I mean, my english isn’t too good and I doubt Jaebum’s is any better.”

“What?!” Jaebum wanted to protest but his whine went unnoticed.

“Hm, okay, true,” Jackson nodded, “you’re allowed to use a dictionary then?”

“That’s still not completely fair but whatever,” Jinyoung muttered with hint of annoyance as he slid the letter stand towards himself, even though he considered the argument irrelevant one way or the other. He was going to be in a team with Jaebum, the reason of his sleepless nights and frequent zoning out in classes.

The game went rather peacefully during the first moments of it, interrupted only by a beep from Jaebum’s phone as it received a message. Jaebum tried to make it seem like unimportant and to only answer the text discreetly under the coffee table, but Jinyoung didn’t miss the content of the whole string of messages as he was sitting right next to him.

**_1 week ago_ **

**_Youngjae_  ** _  
_ _thanks for the date, goodnight <3_

**_Jaebum_  ** _  
_ _goodnight_

**_30 minutes ago_ **

**_Jaebum_  ** _  
_ _sad that you had to leave :( text me when you get home_

**_Youngjae_  ** _  
_ _:( just got home, i’m gonna head straight to bed_

Jinyoung watched as Jaebum typed out “goodnight” and added a heart emoji as his own heart was beating so hard he felt slight pulsing in his head.

“Jaebum, stop sexting,” Jackson tore Jinyoung out of the trance as he nearly shouted. Jaebum almost jumped, locked his phone and looked at the amused faces of Mark and Jackson. “It’s your turn.”

Jaebum looked at the letters in front of him, trying to think of a word he could build, but before he could even move his hand to rearrange the letters, Jinyoung was already building a word on the board.

“H,” Mark started spelling the word that Jinyoung was building, “H, o, e. Hoe?”

“Yes,” Jinyoung nodded.

“Do you know the meaning of the word?” Bambam looked at him straight in the eyes, as there was a rule that the player had to know the meaning of the word.

“Of course,” Jinyoung smiled, glancing at Jaebum for a split second, “it’s a tool, for gardening. Also a person that goes out with many people in a short period of time… Jaebum knows the meaning too, right Jaebum?” Jinyoung paused, smiling at Jaebum with his trademark glance of disguised mischief. “The tool, hoe,” he said the meaning in korean.

“Hm, okay, I will accept it,” Mark, who was in charge of counting the points, said. Bambam and Yugyeom were up next and Bambam already had his word thought out.

“J-e-a-l-o-u-s,” he spelled out, “jealous. Upset and angry because someone that you love seems interested in another person.”

“Damn, Bambam! That’s a lot of points for you right there,” Mark exclaimed happily.

Jackson rejoiced under the weight of Jaebum’s and Jinyoung’s startled looks that they were both trying hard to hide. Jinyoung felt as if his stomach imploded and his lungs deflated, filling up his throat with concrete so he would be unable to defend his pride.

The rest of Jaebum’s evening could have been summed up by one word: terrible. Everyone including Jinyoung dropping constant subtle hints on him and Youngjae, Jinyoung barely talking to him and limiting their conversations to humms and gestures… Jaebum was borderline going crazy from the sudden withdrawal from Jinyoung’s attention. Previously, he would have never thought that he’d miss the remarks and sassy commentaries, after all he had went few days without hearing them at all and he didn’t even know Jinyoung for that long anyways, but now the ominous, gaping feeling of something missing was eating him alive.

As the hours passed and Jaebum had gotten used to the constant feeling of anxiety that tightened ropes around his heart and throat, the anxiety of realization that Jinyoung had probably changed his mind and it wasn’t his obligation to like Jaebum, it was eventually time for them to say their goodbyes. Bambam and Yugyeom were first, explaining that “it’s their curfew”, and really, no one wanted to question it and make them stay longer and steal glances from each other in a manner that could be only described as “eye-fucking”.

When it was only the four of them left, the air seemed too dense around Jaebum, even more than before. Jaebum pondered about it for a while and eventually came to the conclusion that it would be for the best if he left, right in that moment. He was starting to overthink and he knew it. What he needed in that moment was to get Jinyoung out of sight, plug in his headphones and be alone in the cold winter landscape that would cool his nerves a little bit down. If he were to stay with Jinyoung for longer, he would only helplessly starve for Jinyoung’s attention, even if it should be sassy remarks that he would get.

“I think I should go too, guys, it’s late” he announced when they were still standing near the exit. If Jinyoung seemed startled and surprised, Jaebum didn’t notice it as he was putting on his shoes, trying to avoid Jinyoung even if it was just breathing in another direction.

“Oh no, Jaebum,” Jackson whined, “it was so fun today! We should hang out more like this, the seven of us.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jaebum agreed automatically, not even realizing what he’s nodding to. He put on his coat and with a “bye” that wasn’t aimed at anyone in particular closed the door behind him.

Entering the cold quiet corridor, Jaebum let out a long exhale that he’d been holding in for a while. He hung his head so his chin was almost touching his chest and stared at the tips of his shoes, tired. It was already one hour after midnight and he really didn’t feel like walking all the way to his apartment, but at that moment all he could hope for was that Jinyoung wouldn’t decide to go with him, because they live so close. But hey, Jinyoung wasn’t that stupid and right now, whether he held grudges against him or if he just got bored with him, he wouldn’t try to spend more time with him.

He pulled out his phone from the pocket of his jeans and checked the time. It was 1:02, but he barely registered it and put the phone back into the pocket. There were muffled voices echoing through the door and Jaebum was naturally eavesdropping, but with no luck as Jackson, who was the one speaking, was probably standing too far away.

But then he heard it - Jinyoung was standing so close to the door that his voice was well audible.

“But Jackson,” Jinyoung’s voice attracted Jaebum’s attention immediately, “you’re getting it wrong. The whole thing.”

Mark said something briefly.

“Yeah that’s true, but-”

Jackson interrupted Jinyoung and Mark chuckled audibly.

“No no no, that’s not it. Yeah, we met in a bar and then we sucked each other off, but apart from that, nothing happened.” Jaebum stopped breathing. His heart was beating and his chest was suffocating him, but he knew that if he was to breathe he wouldn’t hear what was being said.

Mark said something.

“Yeah, he is now dating Youngjae anyways. And I’m not really a dating type, anyways. Jaebum is a cool guy but I’m not into him. Never even was, really. That night was just a mistake.”

Jaebum finally tore his feet away from the floor and with his feet cramping walked all the way to the staircase. His feet carried him independently on his own will, or maybe it was really for the best that he wasn’t there. What he really wanted to do was to go back, knock on the door and scream at Jinyoung, ask him if it really was nothing, tell Mark and Jackson that he lied when he said “nothing happened”. But he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to do that. He was angry but at the same time just wanted to lock himself in his apartment for so long that his friends would start worrying about him and maybe,  _maybe_ even Jinyoung would worry about him.

As he staggered down the stairs, he found himself punching the wall few times to relieve a little bit of stress. By the time he got out of the building, into the cold midnight air, his knuckles already hurt a little bit. He kicked the snow few times and then he started gathering some of it in his hands, pressing his fingers into it so strong that the skin soon got red and slightly numb.

As a reflex, he pulled out his phone to check the time and almost dropped it because of his icy hands. It was 1:07, but Jaebum found himself forgetting it immediately. He unlocked the screen out of habit and then locked it again. But upon seeing the string of messages that he and Youngjae had exchanged, it was almost as if someone had punched him in the stomach.

Jaebum wasn’t drunk. Jaebum could handle his alcohol really well and he knew that the wine and beer they had had was not near enough to make him even tipsy. But for some reason, it suddenly felt like it. His head was spinning from the amount of thoughts going around and his body felt little bit numb from the freezing cold as he aimlessly wandered through the silent streets of the city, submerged in the night. His feet carried him to the only place that he knew he shouldn’t visit in a state like this.

He only noticed that he started to tear up when he was standing in front of a big glass door that reflected his flushed face, stained by teardrops that tingled a little bit. He didn’t know for how long he had been standing there, in front of the apartment block that wasn’t really familiar to him, but in one moment, someone nearly bumped into him, staggering around him. It was a drunk looking man that only barely managed to pull keys out of his pocket to unlock the door. Jaebum was only partially registering that this wasn’t where he lived as he followed the barely conscious man inside.

The lobby was a narrow hall with the elevator in front of the main door, stairs going around the elevator shaft. It didn’t have the most modern look to it, but it certainly wasn’t old. The automatic light switched on and the walls painted themselves baby blue with various dirty spots from being kicked into, and patches of bared wall where the paint had already crumbled down.

The man ended up leaning against the frame of the elevator door and Jaebum decided he would go by foot instead of having to wait for the elevator with the stranger who could probably punch him for just one wrong glance.

He slowly started climbing the stairs, not looking back. He knew where he was going, he would be stupid if he didn’t. This was after all not really safe, to hang out in the streets like this. He  _had_ to know what he was doing. But it still didn’t feel like it. He wanted to throw up, just the bare thought of  _Jinyoung_ made his stomach curl up and by going against it, against the nudging from the rational part of his brain to  _just go home and not think about it_ , he felt liberated in a way. But boycott of his feelings was still a boycott and Jaebum knew there would be consequences.

So he arrived in front of the door that he had last seen week ago. It seemed a little bit eerie, on the end of the long, baby blue hall that was reflecting the faint light from one automatic light bulb. Jaebum first approached the door and the more he looked at it, the more it seemed like the door was breathing, like if it were a living organism whose chest rose with every inhale and deflated with every exhale. But maybe that was just Jaebum’s imagination linked to his own breathing rhythm.

His palm made a soft contact with the door, as if he were testing the quality of it, measuring how much force he’d need to knock on it. So he curled up his hand into a fist and knocked few times. Nothing happened, so he knocked again, leaning his forehead onto the cold surface and the knocking echoed through his head. He knocked again and again, losing track of the number of the knocks and not registering that his knocking had went borderline furious.

“Youngjae, open, please,” he almost shouted and then knocked again. “Youngjae… Youngjae!”

He shouted the name few more times until he heard shuffling of feet on the other side of the door. The lock was opened with a loud sound that echoed through the empty hall.

And then he stood there. Youngjae was wearing nothing but his underwear and a ruffled shirt, his hair a mess and his eyes looking heavy, barely awake. He looked at Jaebum with a expression of confusion and grogginess. Jaebum stared at him with an empty look in his face, like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Jaebum?” Youngjae whispered loudly. Jaebum didn’t react in any way. “Did something happen?”

Jaebum shook his head just a little bit in a barely noticeable motion.

“Jaebum? Is everything okay? … Have you been crying? Jaebum?”

“Y-youngjae, I-i,” Jaebum stuttered, but failed to continue.

“Yes?”

“C-can you… can we finally kiss?” The words spilled over and Jaebum had to swallow the bitter taste that came with it.

“Jaebum, have you been drinking too much?”

“No.”

“Why are you here at night? Let’s … let’s just talk after you wake up, okay?”

“What do you mean by that!?”

“Just go to sleep and we can talk tomorrow. You can sleep here, if you want? My couch is pretty comfy-”

“Youngjae! Just. Kiss me. I know you want to.” Jaebum supported himself on his arm that he pressed against the doorframe. His gaze didn’t meet Youngjae’s and he wasn’t exactly considerate to the neighbours by being loud, but his voice was surprisingly steady.

“Jaebum, it’s late,” Youngjae said, “no. You’ve been drinking, right? Just come inside, I will give you some water and you will go to sleep, alright?”

“I’m not drunk! Just kiss me!” Jaebum was almost screaming at that point and Youngjae would have to lie if he had to say that it didn’t terrify him. “Kiss me and end this pining of yours, I will be your boyfriend, okay? I know you want this, you’ve been pining so much and I know how terrible it is when someone is blind to your feelings.”

“Jae-”

“Kiss me.” Jaebum approached Youngjae who took a step back and now they both stood inside of the apartment.

“No.”

“Why not!? Am I not enough for you? Am I not good enough for  _anyone_?”

“No, that’s not-”

“Then why don’t you!”

“Because I’m not into you,” Youngjae said suddenly feeling brave, facing Jaebum like an equal.

“Don’t lie, Youngjae, you’ve been into me since that date-”

“That was staged. I never wanted to date you,” he said, trying to sound as definite as possible but still in a way that would feel the least as a personal attack on Jaebum.

“Don’t  _lie_ to me, Youngjae!” Jaebum shut the door behind them and imprisoned Youngjae inside his own apartment. His voice was starting to tremble a little bit and his eyes started to sting, drowned in his own tears. “Don’t…! Why are you lying to me?” His voice was almost strained, like if the words strangled him.

“I’m not lying to you.”

“Then,” Jaebum swallowed, blinking so the tears wouldn’t spill over. He took a deep breath. What was Youngjae saying? That it was just staged? What was just staged? Why isn’t Youngjae eager to kiss the living daylights out of Jaebum? Maybe he couldn’t have Jinyoung, but Youngjae seemed like if he wouldn’t mind being with Jaebum. Jinyoung looked like he was only dating men of certain status, but Youngjae? Youngjae didn’t seem like he had too huge standards, laughing at every joke and being so friendly all the time, but Jaebum was almost convinced that the boy had had a crush on him. So what had happened? “Then… can you explain to me why have you been  _so_ into me just few hours ago and now you’re just hoping that I would leave you? For the whole time you weren’t there, Jinyoung barely noticed me. I gave up trying to get close to him. So I decided I could at least make you happy by fucking  _kissing you_!”

Youngjae was speechless for a while, but then he put it together, talking in a very firm voice, completely lacking any emotion. “I’m so sorry, Jaebum. Jackson and Mark asked me to play along. I was supposed to make Jinyoung jealous by being close to you. I didn’t find any harm in it, really! I thought that you wouldn’t be interested in me anyway so nothing could really go wrong. But it now seems like…”

“Yes, it really seems like!” Jaebum shouted again, his expression full of betrayal. “Thanks to your  _fucking_ game!” Jaebum punched the wall next to him and Youngjae flinched.

So what exactly did Jaebum have now? Jinyoung stopped talking to him and Youngjae turned out to never have interest in him. And what he was left with were feelings for Jinyoung. Stupid, stupid feelings that Jaebum did not dare to name.

 

Jaebum didn’t even know how he ended up back on the street, the only thing he knew that he basically had to tear away from Youngjae who tried to force him to stay in his apartment, saying it’s too dangerous for him to try to get home. But Jaebum didn’t listen. He wanted to be alone.

Could this even be fixed? Jaebum asked himself many times since he left Youngjae’s apartment. No, was the answer. Jaebum had lost this game the very moment he agreed to the blind date, back when he had thought that Jinyoung was just another guy and that he could play this game of push and pull.

It was stupid, anyways. To expect Jinyoung to persist and be competitive and win Jaebum over. Stupid Jackson and stupid Mark and stupid Bambam and stupid Yugyeom with their love and such. It was all their fault anyways, right? Stupid Youngjae.

The snow crunched under Jaebum’s feet and with every step his brain recalled a memory of Jinyoung, his face, his smile, his laugh, his jokes and remarks.

_Jinyoung, Jinyoung, Jinyoung, Youngjae is stupid, it’s not his fault, Jinyoung, I’m stupid, stupid Mark and Jackson, stupid, stupid, Jinyoung, the clothes that Jinyoung wore on the day we met, Jinyoung, sleepy Jinyoung, stupid Mark and Jackson, Jinyoung’s voice, Jinyoung! Stupid Jackson! Stupid! Cold, it’s so cold, freezing cold, Jinyoung, snow, stupid face stupid voice stupid lips and eyes, stupid! So cold, coffee shop, flowers, Jinyoung, never go without a flower, remember! Stupid Jackson, stupid flowers, stupid Jinyoung. So cold, doors to the apartment, so cold, apartment, Jinyoung, apartment, keys, my keys, Jinyoung’s laugh, keys, keys, keys…? Jinyoung? Keys… Jinyoung?!_

“Jaebum!”

_Jinyoung?_

“Jaebum!” He stopped fishing through his pants for his keys and turned to look onto the vast empty street. Somewhere in the distance, maybe a two minute walk away, there was him. The only person that Jaebum didn’t want to see at the moment. Jinyoung sped up and started running towards Jaebum, who was slowly starting to panic.

Panic?

No, he realized. He had no reason to panic. If Jinyoung was running towards him and Jaebum still had chance with him, then he’d panic. If Jinyoung hadn’t said what he said just an hour ago, then he’d panic. If Jinyoung was now running towards him and Jaebum had just decided that the next time he would meet him, he’d kiss him, then Jaebum would panic.

His heartbeat slowed down and when Jinyoung was finally mere steps away from him, he was calm. Jinyoung’s face was flushed from the cold and from the short run and his breathing was heavy, but why? What was so important that made Jinyoung run towards Jaebum in a weather like this? After what had been said?

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum said, confused. “What happened?”

Jinyoung didn’t answer, still recovering from the run. His eyes were quickly scanning Jaebum’s face.

“Is everything okay?”

“You forgot your keys,” Jinyoung breathed out after a while, reaching to his pocket and pulling out a key bundle. Jaebum stared at it for a second, as the keys jingled and tinkled in the silence of the night.

“Thanks,” he uttered and reached out for his keys. He closed his palm around them and let his arm hang along his body as Jinyoung did. He stared at him in question, a question that hung between them stiffly.

Neither of them spoke in that moment and the silence was filled only with the sounds of Jinyoung’s breathing and distant faint traffic noises. The vapor coming out of Jinyoung’s mouth mixed with Jaebum’s breath and for that very moment, time stood still.

But then, Jinyoung broke the moment and hung his head to his chest shortly, before straightening up and giving Jaebum a faint smile. He turned around with a “Goodnight, Jaebum.”

_One step, second step away…_

Just a minute ago, Jaebum didn’t want to ever face Jinyoung again. But now, when he saw him, he realized he needed it. Some sort of closure. And now it was walking away.

“Jinyoung, wait,” he said, almost against his own will. He didn’t shout or even raise his voice so maybe it was the way he’d said his name that made Jinyoung turn around.

“Hm?” Jinyoung hummed, barely audible.

“Is that all you wanted to say?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you run just so you could give me my keys?”

“What do you mean?”

Jaebum didn’t answer. The air between them was suddenly charged with tension as Jinyoung wordlessly walked back to Jaebum. Then he hung his head again, but this time he pulled out his phone from the pocket of his jeans. His coat was undone so Jaebum could see his figure, looking all soft and vulnerable in the sweater that had sleeves that were little bit longer and covered almost half of his palms. It was strange how much his look differed from his demeanor.

“I wanted to know if this is true,” he said but almost as it wasn’t directed to Jaebum. He lifted up his phone so Jaebum would see it without having to move his head an inch.

**_Unknown number_ **

**_01:31_  ** _  
_ _Hi, it’s Youngjae. I’m sorry for getting between you and Jaebum, it was just a joke that Mark and Jackson involved me in. Jaebum was never interested in me and neither was I interested in him. Sorry for giving you the false image._

Jaebum read the message once, twice, thrice. Then he turned to face the door to his apartment and chuckled, a snort worth of a lunatic. He tilted his head back and then hung it so his chin almost touched his chest. “Of course,” he muttered for himself.

Jinyoung looked at him, confused. “Of course?” He repeated.

Jaebum absentmindedly identified the right key to his apartment and wordlessly aimed it at the lock, but his hand was trembling ever-so slightly so he couldn’t manage to insert the key.

“Why did I get this text, Jaebum?” Jinyoung raised his voice to get his attention back.

Jaebum faced him again, now taking a short step towards him, almost menacingly. “Well, why do you think so,  _Jinyoungie_.” He didn’t know what he was trying to get when he used the diminutive of the name, but there was a brief spark of an unfamiliar emotion in Jinyoung’s eyes that told him it had an effect.

It was a trap, that question, and both of them knew it. Jinyoung definitely had to have an idea of why he’d received a text that basically said “Jaebum is single as the last pringle”, so he couldn’t just say that he doesn’t know and revert the question again. What is more, Jaebum wanted to know Jinyoung’s hypothesis, what was Jinyoung initial thought when he got the text, what he  _thought_ it meant, what he  _wanted_ it to mean. He put his phone back in his pocket.

“I’m sorry,” he said, eventually. Briefly, he wondered how much pain it would spare him if he stopped trying to save his pride all the time. Jaebum stared at him, confused. “For acting the way I did,” he swallowed. This was much harder that he would ever expect. He never apologizes for being impudent, Park Jinyoung never apologizes. “I think I…” I what? What exactly was the reason behind all of Jinyoung’s bitterness? He went silent for a minute before he realized it: “... I just got jealous.”

Jaebum’s heart skipped a beat. Could it be… ?

Jinyoung swallowed again and a tiny smile flashed across his face for a split of a second. “Let’s start over. Let’s go on a date. Right now.”

Jaebum gaped at him like a beached fish before he realized what Jinyoung was referencing to. This They would start over, back from the night of the snowstorm when Jinyoung took Jaebum out for a spontaneous date though the winter city.

So there they were. Jaebum put his keys into his pocket and Jinyoung buttoned up his coat as they headed in the same direction as they did weeks ago. And the street still looked astonishingly beautiful and the golden glow coming from the lamps still illuminated tiny snowflakes fluttering in the breeze. And the snow that fell down onto Jinyoung’s hair still looked like fallen stars. Jaebum had always imagined that walking through a picturesque scenery like this was reserved for couples, for holding hands and kisses under lone lamp posts, but now he was there, with Jinyoung, for the second time, and despite all that had happened that night he actually felt content for a while.

Back then but now too, the most intimate contact between them was when their gazes met as they stood on a bridge overlooking the river, leaned against the railing and watching how the city lights danced in the waves of the ice cold water. And for a second, Jaebum could swear that he saw the whole city reflected in Jinyoung’s eyes as they smiled softly at each other, but this time no matter how long the moment lasted, it didn’t get awkward. They finally looked properly, like if they were trying to identify the lights and to match them to a constellation.

“Will we see each other ever again?” Jinyoung asked when they found themselves back in front of the door to Jinyoung’s apartment.

“I think that depends on whether you will get rid of your caffeine addiction or not,” Jaebum joked, “I mean, seriously, did you say you went to my coffee shop multiple times a day? How could I not notice you?”

“You are always behind the coffee maker, remember?” Jinyoung answered, although he knew that it wasn’t caffeine that made him go there. Jaebum chuckled but didn’t answer. There was nothing left to say.

Jinyoung exhaled. He transferred his weight from one leg to another and heard a soft crunch of the snow below his feet. “See you, Jaebum,” he said simply and unlocked the door, still carefully maintaining eye contact. Jaebum nodded as he watched Jinyoung, slowly closing the door behind him.

 _I like you_ , was one of the many things he didn’t say. The door handle was suddenly the most interesting thing to watch and Jaebum almost froze in the same spot, watching the door for probably a minute.

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

He found his hand knocking on the door.  _Ridiculous_ , he thought of himself.

The door opened.

He wasn’t sure who was the first to take the step forward.

They kissed, breathless.

And there they were, answers to all doubts and questions that Jaebum had - in Jinyoung’s lips, in the warmth of his hands, in the press of his nose into his cheek. And for Jinyoung, it wasn’t a victory as he used to think of relationships, no - he wasn’t competing with anybody. For him, the kiss was assurance, Jaebum’s lips were a medicine and his hands a welcoming home, a safespace and hideaway. But what it was for both of them - well, that took them another while to realize.

But since then, it was hidden in all the things they did for each other. From when Jinyoung borrowed Jaebum his sweatpants so he wouldn’t have to walk around his apartment in uncomfortable jeans, or when Jinyoung made him coffee that was by no means as good as from the coffee shop but Jaebum didn’t mind even a bit because it was Jinyoung who made it, or when they first met Mark and Jackson as a couple and Jaebum would not let Mark to call Jinyoung “Jinyoungie” ever again because that was his thing now, or when Jinyoung would occasionally take advantage and touch Jaebum’s butt whenever Jaebum would cook for him, or maybe just in the way they kissed - it was no longer the rushed kiss with barely any emotion, they had all the time in the world now and their kisses were full of words that both of them were too scared to say.

Eventually, they did. It was a day just like the other. Jaebum would always, when visiting Jinyoung, bring a flower (chrysanthemums, carnations and tulips) and a cup of fresh coffee (americano or the guilty pleasure that a latte was). He would spray himself with what he knew was Jinyoung’s favourite fragrance (CK2 by Calvin Klein) and play a short melody on the doorbell. Jinyoung would open and first they would hug, then kiss. Jinyoung would always say:

“Hello, sir.”

And Jaebum:

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, this is the end! thank you for reading <3
> 
> definitely leave a comment about how you liked the story and if you read this all at once or if you had to wait for the last chapter :D
> 
> i'm also already writing a new story, this time about bts. hopefully it won't take as long as this did :D i always tweet about updates so if you want to, you can follow me on @alexmemesenpai
> 
> anyways, thanks again, i really appreciate every single one of you who read this. also sorry for gramatical mistakes. by the time i'm posting this it's 2:22 (make a wish lol) and my one and only beta is asleep. lol.


End file.
